"Hydration Issues"

Devin Joseph Metz

 

It goes without saying that users of today's social mediums definitely have offered plenty of reasons for people to become fed up, flustered and just plain frustrated with their antics over these given platforms; be it the cyber bullying, the uninformed political bias, the overt saturation over less than conversation worthy world topics(akin to many of those ridiculous "reality" shows that people like to watch), etc.

One thing that I am absolutely tired of seeing tossed around so frequently is the terms "Thirsty" and "Thirst Trap" that the social media masses have latched onto so firmly. For those who have recently risen from beneath their rock in the neighborhood of Friendster across from Myspace and down the street from BlackPlanet, here's a generic definition to bring you up to speed:

Simple enough, right?

So for the sufficiency of elaboration for our older readers:

Any individual(s) perceived as overtly covetous, extremely lusty, investigative, or bold in desperation are considered "thirsty;" implying that this person or group of people stands unnecessarily in need of what they long for; reminiscent that of one desperately longing for a drink of water.

Thanks, Urban Dictionary.

One would presumably consider that this perception comes from one of the opposite gender(usually female) since said gender would usually be the one initially tacking on this term to the other in response to behavior or statements rendered.

This is not always the case, however.

There are times where one may classify members of his/her own sex as "thirsty" individuals. The kicker here is usually the motive behind why this occurs. There are some that are genuinely frustrated in their observation of the overt and admittedly embarrassing displays of desperation and lustful yearning that may feel the need to chastise their own gender publicly; but quite often I have observed this method used as a form of "Subliminal Counter-Thirst"(Yes. I coined this term that I highly detest as of this very moment that you are reading it).

Of course I have an example at hand:

Take our neat, uniformed definition of a "Thirst Trap"(which I will get to later on in this entry) for example. For the sake of functionality, let's say that the trapper(the female who set forth the grievance and inquiry that followed it) posted on Facebook instead of Twitter. The situation would likely take place like this:

Her Post: "I'm tired. Who wants to come put me to sleep?"

Ensuing "Thirst" in the comments section of her post: 

- "Me baby. I'll knock you out. ;)"

- "I'll make sure you sleep real good. lol"

- "I'll be right over babe."

- "All these thirsty dudes on here. lol smh gutter minds."

- "Only if I can stay the night. ;)"

- "Won't take me long to have you snoring..."

Note the fellow highlighted in red. Also note the fact that although he is isolated by color, I still have him listed along with all of the other ensuing comments on this girl's post.

Herein lies my point.

The guy in red is employing the use of "Subliminal Counter-Thirst;" hoping that his judgmental and mildly chastising comment directed at the other guys commenting on this post will be perceived by her as some misled sign of maturity; garnering interest from her and hopefully coercing her into ignoring the comments from other guys altogether. This crafty individual employs this method to serve multiple tasks at once: chastisement of the "thirsty," promotion of his pretentious "chivalry" and relocation of the girl's attention from their "thirst" to his "chivalry."

Don't go thinking that just because I placed the word chivalry in quotations that I don't believe in it's existence or effectiveness. Quite the contrary, actually. I completely promote chivalry and support those who would have it as their societal mainstay. This individual's form of "chivalry;" however is more his tool than his overall mannerism. He takes on the mantle of an upstanding individual, chastising constituent and perfect gentleman simultaneously for the sole purpose of hoping to garner the exact same prize the other comment issuers yearn for. The only differential between what he says and what they say is that he has endeavored to appear more subtle in his motives while the others are blatant and direct. He is no different from those that he deems "thirsty;" of course.

Now as far as what those commenting stand to gain from this woman is concerned, I believe that is best left alone. Be it her attention, her affection or something more.......deliberate, one can never really know for sure.

As far as that whole "Thirst Trap" thing is concerned....

Pretty straightforward directives here. This serves as a perfect example of what one would define as a "Thirst Trap." as the aforementioned definition implies, this is when a person(male or female, really; although usually female in most situations) employs the use of a suggestive statement or picture to intentionally create attention or "Thirst."

There are many examples of this ranging from statements, photographs and(even more prominent as of late with the introduction of services such as Vine or the most substantial upgrade to Instagram to date) even videos. Although Youtube was around long before Instagram or Vine came into the fold, it wasn't until these services pushed the use of short video clips as an option on their respective applications did such an effective form of potential "Thirst Trapping" gain a considerable amount of attention. 

The lines crossed are very well defined.

There's the ever clever "Wine and Bait" trap where the person states a grievance such as loneliness, ailment or some other disposition and then follows up their exclaimed issue with an invitation to rectify it in an undisclosed manner:

"I'm so cold. I could use some body heat right about now..."

"I wish I had someone to share this bed with..."

Yeah. Stuff like that. 

Recently on Facebook, I inquired to my female friends about the meaning behind the phrase "I'm feeling some kind of way" that I see so many of them use. I was honestly curious about what that meant; wondering if it was a universal statement or something intentionally used as a deterrent or misdirection of some variance. I received a lot of different answers: 

Some have stated that it is directed at one who already knows that he is the focal point of their attention. 

Others have stated that it is used to express depression, confusion or loneliness.

Some have even admitted using it to express when they are horny.

Suffice it to say, I've never really had it narrowed down to one meaning for sure; so I figured it was best left alone. Usage of this phrase can be perceived as a 'thirst trap," though; given the nature of the comments it garners.

More visual examples of these quirky little set-ups would include taking suggestive photographs to show off a new tattoo, piece of jewelry or article of clothing; usually accompanied by a small phrase pretentiously directing attention to it. This is a pretentious method simply because the highlight of the photograph and underlying purpose isn't for the person to show off that new pair of socks or that new necklace. Anyone with a second eye and 1/36 of a brain can see that the person was trying to show off her thighs or her cleavage or that a guy was trying to show off that "print" female observers find so endearing.

What is definitely true about those who set out these "traps" is that they are guilty of the very same "thirst" that the ones who issue lust driven comments and the "subliminal counter-thirst" enthusiasts are guilty of. The trappers yearn for that attention just as much as the ones they will proclaim to feel beleaguered by. In many ways, they employ the same "subliminal counter-thirst" that the "chivalrous" commenter does. The trapper will accuse people of "thirst" out of a manner of obviously feigned annoyance and disgust as if to throw off those with only 1/36 of a brain who can't see what their true desire is. 

Toil not in your confused deduction, Conspiracy Keanu. Those of us with much more than the standard 1/36 of or mental faculties that are blessed to have two functional eyes can pick off the trappers from miles away.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be noticed or wanting attention of some sort. It is to be expected, actually. That's who we are as people. We crave attention. We long to be noticed and desired. Some of us much more than others, actually; and some of us really couldn't care less whether or not we are noticed at all. The issue comes from those who refuse to hold themselves accountable for how they go about getting their desired attention.

No one emotionally sound enough with good sense likes someone willing to toss around the term "Thirsty" when that person is obviously engaging in the exact same behavior that they are throwing other people under the bus for. It doesn't make that person look respectable, responsible, noble, upstanding, conscious or any other adjective he or she may reach for to cover up their ridiculousness. It does nothing to hide the contradiction consistently perpetuated by those who obviously crave the attention from others but are too ashamed of the methods they stand behind to obtain it.

Well I'll tell you how I feel about those who suddenly start to feel even a little embarrassed about their consistent fits of redundancy and ridiculousness:

That's the one thing about accountability that we've all at one point or another chosen to disregard or forget altogether until it meets us again full circle:

If there is a potential for embarrassment in light of our choice to take part in something, what sense does it make for us to do it? Who wants to do something that can potentially be viewed by them as embarrassing if someone were to uncover the underlying motives behind why it was done?

Not everyone willing to issue a compliment is "thirsty." There are some of us who genuinely find someone attractive or appealing who feel inclined to let that person know. Of course it would be ignorant of me to assume that some people who choose to be complimentary aren't concealing an ulterior motive of some sort; but I believe that it would be just as ignorant of us to assume that every person who offers a compliment will attach an indecent proposal to it.

The overt usage of the term "thirsty" is definitely making it harder to converse with the opposite gender or even be nice to each other, honestly. I don't believe that chivalry is dead; but I do believe that if we don't get rid of this socially damaging and depreciating term, it won't be far from the respirator; and believe it or not, the ones making sure that this term has extended life are those who are covering up their own motives driven by it.

Well stated, Condescending Wonka. Willie here is just as tired of the usage of this term as I am. Maybe we should start holding these people accountable since they obviously won't do it for themselves.

Perhaps some aggressively persuasive retort is in order. Maybe it's best to just ignore and side step those traps altogether. That will definitely slow things down considerably; even if it doesn't bring about the death of this term altogether. Maybe we should find a way to engage in a healthy discussion(or debate contingent upon one's perspective) where we reveal just how damaging this term is in public relations. 

Gentlemen will grow weary of constantly being accused of being "Thirsty;" causing them to avoid any and all women who use the term in any capacity. In discussions I've had with male and female peers of mine regarding the term, it was discovered that women who use this term incessantly to categorize the men they encounter often miss out on someone genuinely good for them; be it a friend or more than that. These women become the most recognizable form of man bashing individuals known to social media. These women cultivate a negative atmosphere to pair with their increasingly negative personality; only stopping between stints of negativity to express their disdain for being alone.

Pretty morbid if you ask me.

Meh.

One may fare better just being sarcastic; because I doubt anybody that swears by the term "Thirsty" will be very receptive to any civil form of conversing when it comes to dispelling this misunderstanding once and for all. It may serve us best to confront this misunderstanding head on with as sharp of a response as one can muster given that situation.

No ma'am. I'm not "Thirsty." My chivalry is well hydrated, actually; so you go ahead and continue hiding your obvious desire for attention and I'll keep it pushing right along.

Happy Hunting.

"Eye Level"

"Eye Level"

What I have to say shouldn't matter.
I'm only here for the laughter.
We'll never pretend to be
as long as it's more than we.
I'll blend in with the chatter.
We might exchange words after...
...after a few drinks,
maybe two blinks
and a visit to the sink
just before they start to think.
Profile that of salty wiles.
Our destination lost for miles.

Can't always pick up
what eventually falls over
even when we grip bolder.
Maybe we are not the holders.
Pebbles feel like boulders.
The fortitude of a soldier
can't evade the tipping point;
so what's the point?
Hapless inquiry.
Foreign vicinity for the motive.
Motivated by ulterior
and this is just the exterior.

I'll return to the bridge
for the sake of pure vision
resting just above my nose.
So much sits beneath my prose.
The withered rose will never harden
hiding deep within the garden
next to marigolds and daisies
where the perfumed air is hazy.
Yes. The lazy let you linger;
but ambition lines my fingers:
three beneath you feeling nice.
Uproot you for a cheaper price.

Sold for a steal to newer friends.
Seal the deal then wipe the lens.
Could care less for a mix in;
and if you return, I'll do it again.
Indifferent to what you conceal.
Blissfully deaf to your shrills.
Not foolish enough to display skill
for those who never could fit the bill.
You call that arrogance.
I call it ever since
blended well with common sense.
That double entendre is past tense.

So that's our conversing.
That glass you sat there nursing
is still at lipstick level.
Isn't it time to revel?
I'm sure you've heard them heckle;
calling for that fat cat.
Where's it at? Where did it go?
Where did it run to?
Shall we employ a "gumshoe?"
Did it steal your tongue too?
Is that bar stool adjustable?
Do I make you uncomfortable?





 

 













Written By: Devin Joseph Metz 

"Cooling Water From Grandma's Well"

Devin Joseph Metz

"Grandmas hold our tiny hands for just a little while, but our hearts forever." - Author Unknown

Wise words indeed. Those close to me - be it a family member or close friend - know how large of a portion of my heart is reserved for my Grandmother. She is in many ways responsible for a lot of the mannerisms and traits that I exude to this day. A wealth of knowledge, wisdom, understanding, care, honesty and love was always in abundant display whenever my Grandmother was around. Many of us are only able to visit our grandparents during holidays and special family gatherings. Some of us make that random visit and end up staying well into the next day. I even know of a few of my friends that don't really have the best relationship with their grandparents; leaving them feeling awkward whenever they visit. I've even spoken to a few of my friends that claim to only visit their grandparents when they feel that it is absolutely necessary to do so. To this day, I remind them how important that person is to their life and how important they may be to their grandparent's life. It is a bond that I won't soon let go of and surely have never and will never regret for as long as I live.

The connection between a grandparent and a child is a very special one indeed. It is different from any other bond in the fact that although we as people carry the potential to learn from each other every day, the gems of insight and wisdom swapped between a grandparent and child take place with a higher degree of frequency than most other bonds forged in my opinion. To be honest, I believe that the young mind and that of an elderly person are the two minds that would be more receptive to reason and possibility than the thought processes of anyone in between these two. I know that most people deemed older in age have the "Set In Their Ways" stigma attached to them; and that statement is proven true to some extent. What most people often never realize, however is that most of that "Out-Of-The-Box" thinking that we do is a result of conversing that has taken place with our grandparents. That along with the lessons we are taught and the answers that are divulged when we have tried just about everything else that we could think of is usually a direct result of the wisdom imparted to us by our grandparents.

Lend some thought to this process and determine whether or not it makes sense to you:

The grandparent answers as many inquiries as he/she can that are provided to them by the child; broadening that child's mind and teaching the child invaluable skills along the lines of consideration for others, deduction, examination, experimentation and many other skills and traits that we often take for granted as adults; especially while using these gifts on a daily basis.

The child lends help to the memory of the grandparent; who in turn recounts fond portions of his/her childhood and how similar or differential things were in comparison. This recollection leads to some of the most wholesome, entertaining and sometimes even humorous stories that we as children have been told by our grandparents; and there is usually a nugget or three of wisdom along with a few morals in each story.

Makes more sense now, I presume. Both share a large amount of receptiveness; therefore allowing each other to teach the other something; whether that lesson be received in lieu of a question asked or a story told in fond memory.

This highly resembles the relationship that my Grandmother and I have shared. We actually had so close of a relationship that if it had not been for the glaring difference in our age, one would presume that she was my Mother in some regard. 

My Grandmother owned a "shotgun double" fashioned house in Uptown New Orleans, Louisiana. Around the time of my birth, my Mother was living on one side of the house and my Grandmother stayed on the other side. My Mother and Grandmother didn't have the best relationship; which was something that often befuddled me in my youth. I couldn't conceive how two people that seemed so much alike could possibly oppose each other as vehemently as my Mother and Grandmother did. There were a number of arguments and they hardly ever pulled any punches when it came to the other person's feelings. It was rather heart breaking to watch as a young boy; mainly because I often felt like I was stuck in the middle of it even when they both would assure me that I wasn't. I never felt responsible for their disliking of each other; but it was hard to ignore that I felt as if I would have to make a choice one day between the two. 

That choice along with a number of other things that have happened in my youth as early as ten years of age are why one would often hear me claim to have been robbed of a considerable portion of my childhood. Although I have many times stated this in a joking manner, I have always seriously believed this to have happened. I believe that this may have served as a blessing and a curse for me. 

Go figure...

My Mother moved out of my Grandmother's house when I was a little older than ten; leaving my five year old brother and I to decide whether or not we wanted to go with her or stay with our Grandmother. Many people at this time perceived this decision by my Mother as a cruel and unloving act; believing that we shouldn't have been placed in the position to make a decision one way or another. My Grandmother shared this concern. 

As I have grown, however I have gained a better understanding of why my Mother did this. She didn't want to leave; but she couldn't ignore the considerable toll that the fights between her and my Grandmother took on my Brother and I. She also knew how close we were to our Grandmother and did not want to break that bond, either. Suffice it to say, my Mother's decision to leave was in many ways considered more high risk than high reward. There was always the potential to have lost us completely to our Grandmother. This is not in the sense of possession but rather in the sense of allegiance and trust. 

The close relationship that my Mother and I have today is just as strong as the one I shared with my Grandmother as a child, though; and that is definitely something to thank God for.

I spent much of my youth well into my teen years caring for my Grandmother and little brother. A lot of the upkeep and cooking skills that I put to use nowadays comes from what I was taught in my youth by my Grandmother. Keep in mind that this was during a time when I was still riding the bus to and from school, doing homework and projects and still managing to get chores done around the house.
 
I had quite the exciting childhood.

I never griped, however. I felt that I really had no reason to; especially since my Grandmother's health was declining steadily. She suffered with Diabetes; so I quickly became familiar with her insulin regimen; issuing it to her twice daily(this is the best explanation for me having no fear of needles) and making sure that there was chocolate and juice on hand for whenever she experienced one of her episodes. This was a rather arduous time in my life to say the very least. There were nights when I wasn't necessarily sure if she was okay or not; so I would sit by her side and even leave my room to sleep next to her for fear of her getting sick and not being able to call for me.

 Come to think of it, that would explain my insomnia; but I digress.

My teenage years saw me undergo a considerable spike in my maturity as a young man; and by the time I was seventeen, I found myself having to make yet another rough decision. Arguments and various disagreements surfaced between my Grandmother and I; many of them too emotional to willfully recall. Neither of us wanted to acknowledge or even accept it; but I was outgrowing both my surroundings and her style of parenting. The one thing that really remained intact was her guidance; but for all the times that we would spend together learning from each other, there were just as many arguments if not more. 

It became fully apparent that it was time for me to leave; so shortly after graduating high school, I moved out of her house and went to live with my Mother. My Brother tagged along as well, of course. It was very hard for me to do; but I felt at the time that it was necessary. She would not be home alone, of course: my Uncles were there to look after her; many of them living there while my Brother and I were still there.

 There was a brief back and forth between my Grandmother and Mother about my decision to leave; but all was laid to rest soon thereafter. I began to notice how much of an influence she was to me as I seamlessly applied certain practices and habits that were cultivated while living with my Grandmother. My Mother told me often that if her Mother gave me nothing else, she definitely gave me structure. That was always evident and apparent to her. 

My Grandmother was a very, very proud woman. It was her very essence. Her zeal, if you will. She was in many ways one of the cornerstones of my Mother's side of the family. She always knew what to say, when to say it, how to say it and how it would affect the person she would tell it to. She never was one for pulling punches when it came to telling the truth; and she didn't believe in withholding the truth for the sake of one's emotional protection. There were a number of quotes and sayings that even to this day stand in front of me clear as the new day; but this one definitely strikes with great poignancy:

"I'm not gonna hide the truth from anyone. Hell, people have been hiding from the truth for years. The truth can walk around and never feel threatened. That's the problem."

She's a strong one for sure.


During Hurricane Katrina, we went back to her house to get her out of it as the roof was completely torn off of the house and the foundation was sure to crumble eventually. She was initially very stubborn; refusing to leave the house that her and my Grandfather worked so hard to acquire; but we were eventually able to coerce her into leaving; assuring her that it was for her own safety. It was the best decision for sure as we found out later on after the entire city flooded that her area of the neighborhood was completely submerged regardless of how high the houses were. We were able to regulate her medicine and supplies until we were able to exit the city days later; meeting in Baton Rouge with relatives that took us to LaPlace, Louisiana for the remainder of the year until the city was safe for return. While there, her health took a critical turn for the worse; especially after learning that one of my Uncles had drowned not far from her residence. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years passed by while my Grandmother spent the rest of the year in a medical facility. 

Once January arrived, we found ourselves ready to pack and return home. Not long after returning, we placed her in hospice back home in New Orleans where she was under treatment constantly; but there was no substantial or even minuscule improvement in her health at all.

My Grandmother was born on March 13th. She didn't make it to her birthday the following year after the storm; passing away early February 2006 while still in hospice. I believe I slept and cried that entire day. That was the only day that I really felt any pain from that occurrence, though. The following weekend was her funeral. My Mother and I prepared the programs, arranged the service and made sure that everyone who could possibly make it to the service was there. 

I wanted to deliver her eulogy; electing to do so in the form of a poem. I couldn't shed a tear. I felt that familiar comfort that only she were able to impart to me as I read each stanza. The light from the mosaics shined bright and brilliant as I continued to read. Amid a church filled with misty eyes and people shouting, I found solace in knowing that this amazing woman that I have looked up to, marveled after and cared for my entire life up to that very point could finally rest.

 The program in its entirety was placed on a plaque that currently shares the same room as my Grandmother: Per her request, we had her cremated and she now sits in the living room of my Mother's house.

Although it isn't the same piece that I read at her funeral, here is the link to my Poetry blog for a piece in wrote December 2nd, 2010 in memory of her entitled "The Kitchen Table":


 http://thirstforinspiration.blogspot.com/2010/12/kitchen-table.html

I never got to meet my Grandfather, unfortunately. He disappeared a few years before I was born. From what I gathered from my Grandmother, Mother and other members of my family that knew him well, he was always rather demure and thoughtful; remaining calm through most anything until he observed someone distraught or vexed by something. He is often described as "one who wore a cape that no one ever saw;" implying that he wanted to solve everyone's issues. I can certainly share that trait. It wasn't until I finally accepted that I can't save everyone that I actually found some solace in just doing the very best that I can no matter the outcome.

One or two of my Uncles recall him being a big flirt; which I find very humorous as one of the two who happened to share this with me is quite the womanizer himself. As far as I'm concerned, I'll take my lumps for being a flirt of sorts; but I am in no regard a womanizer.

Don't look at me like that...

My Grandfather served in the Vietnam War; returning home in 1975. From those closest to him, he was evidently shell-shocked from what he experienced in combat. This took a seemingly irreversible toll on his psyche; which coupled with Alzheimer's disease only complicated matters further. He underwent stints of violent behavior then substantial memory loss; all while suffering seizures and nightmares in spells. Ever devoted, my Grandmother did what she could to take care of him in his dilapidated state; hoping that his faculties would improve at some point. 

In a recurrent conversing that I've had with my Grandmother, she stated that she knew that he may never return to the man that she knew before the war; but she always held out hope. When I inquired about his death, she stated that he left home one day and never returned. She asked around the neighborhood about him and even got the police involved in a search for him; but there were no leads regarding his whereabouts. I recall her saying that the police did find a body that they took to the morgue that fit the description that she gave them. She stated, however that when she went to view the body, she had not recognized the man as her husband. To this day, only my Grandmother really knows the truth about what happened to my Grandfather. I believe she may actually know and just refuses to recount said events; which I completely understand. My Grandmother took this bit of the unsolved to her grave.

Aside from the tragic, I've been told wonderful stories by my relatives regarding my Grandfather. Many of them I've compiled into a piece that I wrote about him on September 21st, 2011 entitled "The Man I Never Met." The link is below:


 http://thirstforinspiration.blogspot.com/2011/09/man-i-never-met.html


 Grandparents are those irreplaceable, undeniable, truly valued people in our lives that affect us in so many different ways. Grandparents are our link to the past; revealing to us reasons for why we are inclined to lead our lives in manners of our choosing. Very little of what we are as individuals is purely coincidental or a direct result of circumstance. There is an explanation for a considerable amount of what we delve into in our daily lives; and more often than not, the answers to why we are, what we are, what we do , why we do it and so many other inquiries rest within relatives of earlier descent; especially our grandparents. They love like no one ever could, cook better than anyone you'll ever eat from, understand the complexities of our lives thoroughly and seem to be masterful at helping us reach that very understanding for ourselves. No great feat, rare treasure or large amassing of any kind could ever hold a light to what my Grandmother means to me. She is my constant in a life filled with variables. She was that drink of cool water when life appeared determined to run me ragged.

I Love You, Grandmother. I can still see that smile that would fill an entire room with warmth and comfort.Rest well. <3

"Grandma's Hands" by Bill Withers

Grandma's hands clapped in church on Sunday morning.
Grandma's hands played the tambourine so well.
Grandma's hands used to issue out a warning,
She'd say, “Billy don't you run so fast,
Might fall on a piece of glass,
Might be snakes there in that grass,”
Grandma's hands.

Grandma's hands sooth the local unwed mother
Grandma's hands used to ache sometimes and swell
Grandma's hands used to lift her face and tell her,
She'd say, “Baby Grandma understands,
That you really loved that man,
Put yourself in Jesus' hands.”
Grandma's Hands.

Grandma's hands used to hand me piece of candy.
Grandma's hands picked me up each time I fell.
Grandma's hands, boy the really came in handy
She'd say, “ Mattie don't you whip that boy.
What you want to spank him for?
He didn't drop no apple core,”
But I don't have Grandma anymore,
If I get to heaven I'll look for
Grandma's hands.

 

"Fault Lines"

Devin Joseph Metz

We as people are defined by more than we may know, care to realize or want to admit; and that does not mean that every definition will be accurate or even appropriate. There's this novel concept called opinion that each and every individual will find his/herself privy to and subject to; sometimes with both of these occurrences taking place simultaneously. It goes without stating that one's opinion is most times accompanied by judgement. This judgement can and will be viewed as legitimate or unfounded; but the catch here is that the one being judged is the only one that will feel this way; leading that person to believe that he/she has some measure of influence over how one will judge them.

You know what? That person isn't completely wrong, either.

Of course, regardless of whether or not we believe that we have a certain amount of control over how we will be judged, there is still a considerably larger portion of that perception that we have absolutely no control over.

So where am I going with all of this?

My overall point is that although we may have extremely limited control(and in some cases none at all) over how others perceive us, we still have a responsibility to ourselves regarding any initial perception that is shaped in response to our actions and behavior. Now for all of you headstrong readers out there full of pride and whatnot, I know what you must be thinking right now...

I couldn't agree more. 

We are not at all responsible for what another person understands. As a matter of opinion, I've always considered understanding to be relative to the individual; even if the collective appear inclined to the same understanding across the board. We may all share a similar understanding for something; but there will no doubt be slight differences in how one arrived to that point of understanding or how something is understood. You and I may both understand that people love to drink lemonade; but the reasoning that we couple with that understanding can and most times is different. I may fancy it a preferred beverage because it appeals to me as refreshing and light on the palate. You may feel that it is a preferred beverage because of the sweet taste, rather. What is understood is different from how it is understood.

Simple enough.

So let's put away the pitcher and look at this on a grander scale of thinking.

As much as I tried my best to avoid even talking about it altogether, even someone as reserved as myself couldn't pass by the large elephant in America's room for the sake of making a general point. 

On July 13th shortly before 9:00 PM central time, George Zimmerman was found not guilty of a second degree murder charge he received April 11th, 2012; less than a month after he shot and killed seventeen year old Trayvon Martin in Sanford, Florida. For sake of stating what George was up against with this charge, in Florida, a conviction for second degree murder constitutes a maximum sentence of life imprisonment. If a firearm was used in the murder, the mandatory minimum sentence would be twenty-five years in state prison.

*I have already voiced my reservations relative to the verdict rendered and I will not elaborate on those views. They are my own and they are hardly even relevant to what will be divulged in this entry.*

As was to be expected, the public response to the verdict in majority was highly negative; citing outrage, disappointment, sadness and extreme anger among many. There were reports alleging that riots were set to occur along with many other various protests and demonstrations in communities worldwide had Zimmerman been found innocent. People expressed their disdain in grand fashion via social mediums as well; some going as far as to threaten George, his supporters, and anyone who didn't share similar views regarding their disapproval of the jury's verdict.

Only a few of these events as far as rioting and increased violence have come to pass, fortunately(at least not on as large of a scale as I had initially anticipated); but it did open my mind; causing me to recall other court decisions in history that yielded a result that was not quite as fortunate.

Those of you who have viewed my earlier posts will recall my mentioning of the White Night Riots in San Francisco, California. In lieu of a rather lenient sentencing of Dan White in response to his assassinating openly gay San Francisco Supervisor Harvey Milk, members of the gay community took to the streets in violent fashion; laying waste to anything and anyone in their path and causing hundreds of thousands of dollars in property damage overall. The riots took place on the night of May 21st, 1979; the night before what would have been Harvey Milk's 49th birthday.

In elaboration, The gay community in San Francisco had an everlasting conflict with their police department; and White's position as a former police officer did very little to quell that anger and tension.

When the night concluded, 140 protesters, 61 police officers and 100 members of the public were injured and hospitalized. What made matters worse was when hours after the riot was ended by local police, they raided a gay bar in San Francisco's Castro District; arresting over a dozen patrons after beating many of them while still in their riot gear. This of course led to several people suing the San Francisco Police Department later on.

Gay leaders refused to apologize for the events of that night; forging a substantial spike in political influence for the gay community. This led to an eventual election of Mayor Dianne Feinstein in November of that year. Mayor Feinstein then hired the first Pro-Gay Chief of Police; which increased the recruitment of gay people in police departments and other affiliated positions.

This is viewed as a widely successful ending to something otherwise viewed as disparaging and volatile in that community; but I think that the White Night Riots serve as a control to this experiment. Many other riots were more costly than positively effective....

Whether or not you were born during this time, I'm sure most if not all of my readers from California can recall the more devastating riots from that region, be it the Watts Riots, the 1992 Rodney King Riots and more recently the riots that happened in response to  the verdict rendered for the police officer involved in the 2009 New Year's Day shooting of Oscar Grant by the BART Police in West Oakland, California.

The Watts Riots although incited by people that were tired of the oppression in the region still proved to be far more volatile of an event than anyone involved could've ever imagined. It took place in Los Angeles from August 11th through August 17th in 1965. The riot lasted six grueling days; resulting in 34 deaths, 1,032 injuries, 3,438 arrests and over forty million dollars in property damage altogether.
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The 1992 Rodney King Riots were the direct result of the acquittal of the police officers that were video taped beating Rodney King. At the time, the riots that occurred here were considered to be the most detrimental with the highest death toll of any riot that took place in the United states up to this point. These riots also occurred over a six day span; covering most of South Central Los Angeles before spreading to other parts of the city. The riots occurred in late April and covered everything from widespread looting and arson to assault and murder; urging the California National Guard to get involved to get things in order eventually.

Although there was still a great deal of oppression reminiscent of the Watts Riots, the Rodney King riots were purely if not exclusively racially charged; drawing Hispanics and Korean business owners into the fray as well. What suffered more was the community and the economy overall with over 3000 buildings destroyed; resulting in over one billion dollars in property damage.

The riots that took place in lieu of the verdict rendered in favor of the police officer that killed Oscar Grant III on New Years Day in 2009 marked a violent response to a form of oppression that very much mirrors what happened to Trayvon Martin in the opinions of some. Although not nearly as substantial in comparison to any of the aforementioned, the riot brought to the forefront the undeniable rift that the incident placed between races, nationalities and factions; not to mention the rift between community and law enforcement.

Although some would argue that these riots took place for good reasons and the retaliatory efforts of the oppressed were necessary hardships, I stand to disagree.

Many of us who consider ourselves among the oppressed surely won't rise to the occasion individually or collectively to examine and discover how much of that oppression is implemented by our oppressors and how much of our own oppression we have lent to them; inadvertently oppressing ourselves in the process.

We who hate to be racially profiled and typecast, we who abhor stereotypical slander with unfounded sensitivity, we who preach and proclaim unity across the board are often the ones imploring that such unsavory treatment continues. This is not a general indictment of any variance. There are those of us who legitimately make a concerted effort to attain the unity only some truly favor; but the vast majority can lay no claim to the pursuit of peace, camaraderie and understanding of another culture's race or belief.

Before social media really thrust itself into our everyday lives, the often shameless, aggressive views of this majority were vented through news media and those of political status; regardless of whether or not their statements were justified, rational or even appropriate. Some forty plus years later, technology gives way to a brave new world where what one states on a social medium can lead to things that are further from the monitor and closer to the porch. Various social networks have become platforms where cyber bullies and internet thugs run roughshod; denouncing each other with their own opinions and jocking for position among those higher in exposure for their lack of social credibility. This is never more apparent than when something takes place in our country that leaves an everlasting impact on society as a whole.

I know what you're thinking: "Cyber Bullies? I'm no bully."

Of course you aren't......until you are. Be it online, in the news, or on the streets throughout the day, anyone willing to resort to despicable acts such as the issuing of death threats, harsh criticisms of another race or belief in lieu of any occurrence, and the ever embarrassing bandwagoning from those who only take part in this banter for the sake of choosing a side are all forms of bullying; and in my scope of reasoning, it is much more redundant and ridiculous than threatening.

I'm not a conspiracy theorist and I honestly never had much patience for any of them; but it wouldn't be too far fetched to assume that maybe our government would prefer that we continue to cling to the redundant acts aforementioned. It wouldn't seem like too much of a reach to consider that maybe the government uses media outlets and other means as a deterrent; keeping us considerably distant from what we should be paying attention to. Maybe that would've had something to with this piece of commemorative property:

Pretty snazzy, huh? That's actually something else that I've had an issue with as far as things that do nothing to dispel the negative stigma that is attached to us as black people is concerned: Overt, unnecessary exposure and promotion. I don't mind the posters, paintings and maybe even a graphic tee here or there; but when I look on Facebook and find that someone made a Trayvon Martin chain 1/4 of the size of T-Pain's "Big Ass Chain"(Google it. It really is a chain that says "Big Ass Chain"), I honestly wonder how one would expect not to be profiled or even find room to be appalled if someone does profile them? Whether you care or not about the opinions that one may shape about you, one thing remains true in the social aspect of our livelihood:

Perception Is Everything.

It definitely is everything; and that includes adjectives such as skewed, flawed, costly, counterproductive, and everything else that seemingly has something to do with how our government has chosen to "handle" our most pressing issues. For years on end, the need for debate was viewed as a key component to the implementation of positive change. With the handling of the war on terror, the Iraq war and most recently discussions over gun control, that need has slowly but undeniably morphed into a stage set for redundant opinion slinging and unproductive argumentative banter.

Our very own government presumably entrusted with the tools essential to our progression and societal development as a nation appear just as useless in my opinion as most of us taking part in hollow arguments and debates on various social networks. It takes entirely too long for parties or branches of government to come to a unanimous agreement when it comes to things that should be more paramount to them than it may actually appear to be; and the people are beginning to mirror the government so much now that the lines have definitely started to blur substantially.

If you observe a large group more concerned with preserving or improving their stance in stalwart fashion than actually putting their collective knowledge and abilities together to promote advancement and prosperity, who do you think you'd be looking at? 

The People or The Government?

If you observe this large group spending more time threatening and arguing with one another in a manner that makes them appear more adolescent than accountable rather than actually trying to find some common ground to stand on for the sake of their very livelihood overall, who do you think this brings down in the long run?

The People or The Government?

If you observe this large group exhausting vital energy on the opposition of another person or group's ideals or point of view instead of finding a way to coexist while respectfully disagreeing for the sake of actually creating solutions instead of preserving negativity, who can we say are truly at fault?

The People or The Government?

Nothing better than a good rhetorical question to get the blood boiling.

To be completely honest, we are all at fault. We are all guilty of this; be it those who issue threats, those who cyber bully, those of us who condemn others for shaping their own opinion while we uphold ours as sovereign, and especially those of us who keep this vicious cycle of redundancy in frequent rotation.

I would love to believe that it is merely speculation and more theory than actual conspiracy; but one can never really be sure nowadays. The cycle is far too prevalent:

 An issue arises that affects us all one way or another, the smaller percentage of our population joins together and holds our government accountable for finding a solution to said issue while the vast majority of us argue, chew out the opinions of each other and act as ridiculous as we possibly can in the process; which only adds to the typecasts and amplifies the perception we have predetermined about each other. 

While this is taking place, that gathering of people in higher public ranking of importance is busy doing the same; only falling short of the incensed threats that we are issuing to each other. All the while, people are losing hope, politicians are lining their pockets and the problems that we all still find ourselves struggling to deal with linger on instead of being addressed and effectively handled accordingly.

None of us have earned the right to point our fingers at anyone else; especially when we would discover after a bit of self examination that we have contributed more to some of the problems than we ever did to any of the solutions. The difference, however is that we as people have nothing to hide. We can't hide; no matter how much we would like to believe that we can.

Our government, however.......

..........they have a great deal of control over what we can and cannot see; at least until they are smoked out partially if not wholly due to a scandal of some sort. What would the government have to hide? Why would they feel the need to? What motive would they have for keeping us preoccupied with glimmers in the dark rather than revealing to us what only the light shows? Why these new proposals and bills? Why sanction what was supposed to be protected under constitutional rights?

Why give the people a greater portion of what doesn't matter in the form of social networking updates and advancements, video applications for our phones, ridiculous television shows and music that can't even hold a torch to seven or eight years ago to argue over; then when the issues come about, amplify the distractions even more so for the purpose of making us feel like we are actually engaging in real life issues?

What are they distracting us from anyways...........

..........................this? 

 It may behoove us to focus less on each other's faults and more on what is beginning to slowly shift beneath our feet before it surfaces.