"Hydration Issues"

Devin Joseph Metz

 

It goes without saying that users of today's social mediums definitely have offered plenty of reasons for people to become fed up, flustered and just plain frustrated with their antics over these given platforms; be it the cyber bullying, the uninformed political bias, the overt saturation over less than conversation worthy world topics(akin to many of those ridiculous "reality" shows that people like to watch), etc.

One thing that I am absolutely tired of seeing tossed around so frequently is the terms "Thirsty" and "Thirst Trap" that the social media masses have latched onto so firmly. For those who have recently risen from beneath their rock in the neighborhood of Friendster across from Myspace and down the street from BlackPlanet, here's a generic definition to bring you up to speed:

Simple enough, right?

So for the sufficiency of elaboration for our older readers:

Any individual(s) perceived as overtly covetous, extremely lusty, investigative, or bold in desperation are considered "thirsty;" implying that this person or group of people stands unnecessarily in need of what they long for; reminiscent that of one desperately longing for a drink of water.

Thanks, Urban Dictionary.

One would presumably consider that this perception comes from one of the opposite gender(usually female) since said gender would usually be the one initially tacking on this term to the other in response to behavior or statements rendered.

This is not always the case, however.

There are times where one may classify members of his/her own sex as "thirsty" individuals. The kicker here is usually the motive behind why this occurs. There are some that are genuinely frustrated in their observation of the overt and admittedly embarrassing displays of desperation and lustful yearning that may feel the need to chastise their own gender publicly; but quite often I have observed this method used as a form of "Subliminal Counter-Thirst"(Yes. I coined this term that I highly detest as of this very moment that you are reading it).

Of course I have an example at hand:

Take our neat, uniformed definition of a "Thirst Trap"(which I will get to later on in this entry) for example. For the sake of functionality, let's say that the trapper(the female who set forth the grievance and inquiry that followed it) posted on Facebook instead of Twitter. The situation would likely take place like this:

Her Post: "I'm tired. Who wants to come put me to sleep?"

Ensuing "Thirst" in the comments section of her post: 

- "Me baby. I'll knock you out. ;)"

- "I'll make sure you sleep real good. lol"

- "I'll be right over babe."

- "All these thirsty dudes on here. lol smh gutter minds."

- "Only if I can stay the night. ;)"

- "Won't take me long to have you snoring..."

Note the fellow highlighted in red. Also note the fact that although he is isolated by color, I still have him listed along with all of the other ensuing comments on this girl's post.

Herein lies my point.

The guy in red is employing the use of "Subliminal Counter-Thirst;" hoping that his judgmental and mildly chastising comment directed at the other guys commenting on this post will be perceived by her as some misled sign of maturity; garnering interest from her and hopefully coercing her into ignoring the comments from other guys altogether. This crafty individual employs this method to serve multiple tasks at once: chastisement of the "thirsty," promotion of his pretentious "chivalry" and relocation of the girl's attention from their "thirst" to his "chivalry."

Don't go thinking that just because I placed the word chivalry in quotations that I don't believe in it's existence or effectiveness. Quite the contrary, actually. I completely promote chivalry and support those who would have it as their societal mainstay. This individual's form of "chivalry;" however is more his tool than his overall mannerism. He takes on the mantle of an upstanding individual, chastising constituent and perfect gentleman simultaneously for the sole purpose of hoping to garner the exact same prize the other comment issuers yearn for. The only differential between what he says and what they say is that he has endeavored to appear more subtle in his motives while the others are blatant and direct. He is no different from those that he deems "thirsty;" of course.

Now as far as what those commenting stand to gain from this woman is concerned, I believe that is best left alone. Be it her attention, her affection or something more.......deliberate, one can never really know for sure.

As far as that whole "Thirst Trap" thing is concerned....

Pretty straightforward directives here. This serves as a perfect example of what one would define as a "Thirst Trap." as the aforementioned definition implies, this is when a person(male or female, really; although usually female in most situations) employs the use of a suggestive statement or picture to intentionally create attention or "Thirst."

There are many examples of this ranging from statements, photographs and(even more prominent as of late with the introduction of services such as Vine or the most substantial upgrade to Instagram to date) even videos. Although Youtube was around long before Instagram or Vine came into the fold, it wasn't until these services pushed the use of short video clips as an option on their respective applications did such an effective form of potential "Thirst Trapping" gain a considerable amount of attention. 

The lines crossed are very well defined.

There's the ever clever "Wine and Bait" trap where the person states a grievance such as loneliness, ailment or some other disposition and then follows up their exclaimed issue with an invitation to rectify it in an undisclosed manner:

"I'm so cold. I could use some body heat right about now..."

"I wish I had someone to share this bed with..."

Yeah. Stuff like that. 

Recently on Facebook, I inquired to my female friends about the meaning behind the phrase "I'm feeling some kind of way" that I see so many of them use. I was honestly curious about what that meant; wondering if it was a universal statement or something intentionally used as a deterrent or misdirection of some variance. I received a lot of different answers: 

Some have stated that it is directed at one who already knows that he is the focal point of their attention. 

Others have stated that it is used to express depression, confusion or loneliness.

Some have even admitted using it to express when they are horny.

Suffice it to say, I've never really had it narrowed down to one meaning for sure; so I figured it was best left alone. Usage of this phrase can be perceived as a 'thirst trap," though; given the nature of the comments it garners.

More visual examples of these quirky little set-ups would include taking suggestive photographs to show off a new tattoo, piece of jewelry or article of clothing; usually accompanied by a small phrase pretentiously directing attention to it. This is a pretentious method simply because the highlight of the photograph and underlying purpose isn't for the person to show off that new pair of socks or that new necklace. Anyone with a second eye and 1/36 of a brain can see that the person was trying to show off her thighs or her cleavage or that a guy was trying to show off that "print" female observers find so endearing.

What is definitely true about those who set out these "traps" is that they are guilty of the very same "thirst" that the ones who issue lust driven comments and the "subliminal counter-thirst" enthusiasts are guilty of. The trappers yearn for that attention just as much as the ones they will proclaim to feel beleaguered by. In many ways, they employ the same "subliminal counter-thirst" that the "chivalrous" commenter does. The trapper will accuse people of "thirst" out of a manner of obviously feigned annoyance and disgust as if to throw off those with only 1/36 of a brain who can't see what their true desire is. 

Toil not in your confused deduction, Conspiracy Keanu. Those of us with much more than the standard 1/36 of or mental faculties that are blessed to have two functional eyes can pick off the trappers from miles away.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be noticed or wanting attention of some sort. It is to be expected, actually. That's who we are as people. We crave attention. We long to be noticed and desired. Some of us much more than others, actually; and some of us really couldn't care less whether or not we are noticed at all. The issue comes from those who refuse to hold themselves accountable for how they go about getting their desired attention.

No one emotionally sound enough with good sense likes someone willing to toss around the term "Thirsty" when that person is obviously engaging in the exact same behavior that they are throwing other people under the bus for. It doesn't make that person look respectable, responsible, noble, upstanding, conscious or any other adjective he or she may reach for to cover up their ridiculousness. It does nothing to hide the contradiction consistently perpetuated by those who obviously crave the attention from others but are too ashamed of the methods they stand behind to obtain it.

Well I'll tell you how I feel about those who suddenly start to feel even a little embarrassed about their consistent fits of redundancy and ridiculousness:

That's the one thing about accountability that we've all at one point or another chosen to disregard or forget altogether until it meets us again full circle:

If there is a potential for embarrassment in light of our choice to take part in something, what sense does it make for us to do it? Who wants to do something that can potentially be viewed by them as embarrassing if someone were to uncover the underlying motives behind why it was done?

Not everyone willing to issue a compliment is "thirsty." There are some of us who genuinely find someone attractive or appealing who feel inclined to let that person know. Of course it would be ignorant of me to assume that some people who choose to be complimentary aren't concealing an ulterior motive of some sort; but I believe that it would be just as ignorant of us to assume that every person who offers a compliment will attach an indecent proposal to it.

The overt usage of the term "thirsty" is definitely making it harder to converse with the opposite gender or even be nice to each other, honestly. I don't believe that chivalry is dead; but I do believe that if we don't get rid of this socially damaging and depreciating term, it won't be far from the respirator; and believe it or not, the ones making sure that this term has extended life are those who are covering up their own motives driven by it.

Well stated, Condescending Wonka. Willie here is just as tired of the usage of this term as I am. Maybe we should start holding these people accountable since they obviously won't do it for themselves.

Perhaps some aggressively persuasive retort is in order. Maybe it's best to just ignore and side step those traps altogether. That will definitely slow things down considerably; even if it doesn't bring about the death of this term altogether. Maybe we should find a way to engage in a healthy discussion(or debate contingent upon one's perspective) where we reveal just how damaging this term is in public relations. 

Gentlemen will grow weary of constantly being accused of being "Thirsty;" causing them to avoid any and all women who use the term in any capacity. In discussions I've had with male and female peers of mine regarding the term, it was discovered that women who use this term incessantly to categorize the men they encounter often miss out on someone genuinely good for them; be it a friend or more than that. These women become the most recognizable form of man bashing individuals known to social media. These women cultivate a negative atmosphere to pair with their increasingly negative personality; only stopping between stints of negativity to express their disdain for being alone.

Pretty morbid if you ask me.

Meh.

One may fare better just being sarcastic; because I doubt anybody that swears by the term "Thirsty" will be very receptive to any civil form of conversing when it comes to dispelling this misunderstanding once and for all. It may serve us best to confront this misunderstanding head on with as sharp of a response as one can muster given that situation.

No ma'am. I'm not "Thirsty." My chivalry is well hydrated, actually; so you go ahead and continue hiding your obvious desire for attention and I'll keep it pushing right along.

Happy Hunting.