I am Not my Hair

I am Not My Hair is a beautiful song by India Arie where she sings about how no matter how you wear your hair , it does not say who you are and who you are going to become. I love this song so much that when I have doubts about how I am wearing my hair whether it is relaxed or natural, I put it on blast! There are two versions of the song: one with the singer Pink and the other with Akon.

I AM NOT MY HAIR BY INDIA ARIE AND PINK:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7rSv5NvAK8

I AM NOT MY HAIR BY INDIA ARIE AND AKON:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_5jIt0f5Z4

I have often said that my hair would never be natural. I will continue to relax or texturize my hair for convenience but there are some things that bother me. Often many times in the past, no one knew how I was going to have my hair, whether if it would be in twists , gelled back, whether I was going to wear an Afro wig or wear a wig that is straight and looks like relax hair. I had this experience a while back. I was attending the University of Louisiana at Monroe, taking graduate-level courses in Marriage and Family therapy. I remember it clearly. It was on a Monday.

 

I wore my hair in twists the previous week and I didn't really get a reaction; but that Monday I decided to wear the wig that looks a lot like relaxed hair and then someone in my class said that they liked my hair. They liked it better than the twists and they liked how I straightened it instead of wearing it in that terrible Afro style or when I had it in twists on the previous Monday. They said that I looked so much prettier. This person happened to be a white girl. I was  really   plagued   about   her  comments  but I didn't have  time  to bring  it  up  to  her    because  my  5  o clock  was  starting. I  felt offended  because  I wondered,if she  would   ever

speak  to me if my hair  was  in  dreads,braids  or   kinky  style. To me, it didn't matter. I was  still Princess,   the  same  girl  who now  was constantly changing  her   hair styles; and  those days   however  I had  my hair. I always  made sure  that  I was dressed to impress and  I looked damn  good but   I  digress.

 The  more  I thought about  it, the   more  I  didn't  understand and the  more  I was  shocked  and  appalled .  I  had  not  thought back  on  than  event  for  some time  until  when  I  cut  my  hair  and  relaxed  it  again. A comment about  why  I  am  even  relaxing    was  made  to  me; that I should  be   natural and  proud  of  it and  not  fill  my pores  and  my body with chemicals. This time around, my classmate was a black person. I  just  don't understand people's  (both  black and white)  obsession with  straight hair  and I  don't  seriously  get   those  natural  hair nazis either.

You know, if  I could better  take  care  of  my  nappy, natural  hair,  trust me:  I would  not  be  relaxing or  texturizing  or  wearing  hair  pieces  and  wigs;  but that’s just  me.   The  problem  is  not  with  white  people  but  with  other  blacks.  In fact,  whether  my hair  was  natural   or  relaxed  and  it  is combed  properly,  I would  get  good  reviews  from  most  whites with  the  exception  of  that  one  incident.   We  as  black  people have  to  be  united and  not cause  division  among  ourselves. Somewhere  down the  line  we  have  come  to  think as   an  ethnicity and  race  that long, straight hair  is  better.  We  tell  our   children  that they better  marry  a white  man  or   Indian  man  or  someone  with good hair because  their  children would  come  out  with  nice hair. Trust me.  I know the drill   and sayings  of parents and grandparents,  my  mother, grandmother etc.  have  always  said   that  I needed  to  bring home  someone  with good hair   because  every member  of  my family has good  quality  hair  and  I used  to think   that a  lot of  things  have  changed, I don’ believe  in all that  nonsense.  If it’s not straight hair, it’s the opposite.   You do not need  to marry   a  white  man  or  anyone  that's not  black  and   keep  your  hair  nappy  and  natural, that's what  God  intended. Stop trying to be white. 

 Anyways,  I have  problem  with  any one telling  me  how to wear my  hair  unless they are telling me  for  my own good.     I digress, but  let me  get  back on  topic. I said  I was  offended by  that  girl  in that  class, somehow  my  professor   brought the topic  of  race,  prejudice, etc. and   the African Americans  in the  class  brought  about  the issue   of blacks  being discriminated  against  and  that  same girl  said  in an  uncaring  way:  “white people get discriminated  against too. I don’t  know  why  it is  important  for  white  people   to    have  black people  be  like  them  or  why   we    constantly  want to  be  like  them,  straightening our  hair, bleaching  our  skin etc.    The girl I talked  about   did  not believe  she said anything   wrong and would not   apologize   to  the  class. After  class, she came  up   to  me  and  said I really  should  wear  my  hair  like  that; claiming that it  is  much  better  that way  and more appealing  to    everyone    in the  school. She left after that.  All  I am going  say is that we  as   black   people don’t  need  to change  our  hair to  please   anyone  in the  majority  so  that    we can fit     into their  category  of  beautiful.   We are beautiful   on   our own and  we  don’t  need them to tell  us we fit in but I digress. A year later,  I got the same  reaction but from the opposite end only to not keep my hair relax and stop trying to be white.

My hair has always been difficult to maintain and I have always relaxed my hair so that I can manage; but I was really offended when the white girl said that my hair in its kind, natural state was not pretty; but what did I expect from a typical blonde hair, blue eyed white girl? From a typical brown skinned or dark skinned  girl, I expected better. This goes to show that even though white people may have created the social construct of the hair problem, we as black people continue to embrace it whether we agree with the concept of long straight hair or whether we  like our natural hair. It does not matter if one wants to wear their long and straight or have their hair nappy and natural.  We need to stop this division among ourselves and deconstruct this social nonsense of what Black hair  should be and love each other no matter how we wear our hair.

 

I wore my hair in twists the previous week and I didn't really get a reaction; but that Monday I decided to wear the wig that looks a lot like relaxed hair and then someone in my class said that they liked my hair. They liked it better than the twists and they liked how I straightened it instead of wearing it in that terrible Afro style or when I had it in twists on the previous Monday. They said that I looked so much prettier. This person happened to be a white girl. I was  really   plagued   about   her  comments  but I didn't have  time  to bring  it  up  to  her because  my  5  o clock  was  starting. I  felt offended  because  I wondered if she  would   ever  speak  to me   if my hair  was  in  dreads, braids  or   kinky  style. To me, it didn't matter. I was  still Princess,   the  same  girl  who now  was constantly changing  her   hair styles; and  those days   however  I had  my hair. I always  made sure  that  I was dressed to impress and  I looked damn  good but   I  digress.

 The  more  I thought about  it, the   more  I  didn't  understand and the  more  I was  shocked  and  appalled .  I  had  not  thought back  on  than  event  for  some time  until  when  I  cut  my  hair  and  relaxed  it  again. A comment about  why  I  am  even  relaxing    was  made  to  me; that I should  be   natural and  proud  of  it and  not  fill  my pores  and  my body with chemicals. This time around, my classmate was a black person. I  just  don't understand people's  (both  black and white)  obsession with  straight hair  and I  don't  seriously  get   those  natural  hair nazis either.

You know, if  I could better  take  care  of  my  nappy, natural  hair,  trust me:  I would  not  be  relaxing or  texturizing  or  wearing  hair  pieces  and  wigs;  but that’s just  me.   The  problem  is  not  with  white  people  but  with  other  blacks.  In fact,  whether  my hair  was  natural   or  relaxed  and  it  is combed  properly,  I would  get  good  reviews  from  most  whites with  the  exception  of  that  one  incident.   We  as  black  people have  to  be  united and  not cause  division  among  ourselves. Somewhere  down the  line  we  have  come  to  think as   an  ethnicity and  race  that long, straight hair  is  better.  We  tell  our   children  that they better  marry  a white  man  or   Indian  man  or  someone  with good hair because  their  children would  come  out  with  nice hair. Trust me.  I know the drill   and sayings  of parents and grandparents,  my  mother, grandmother etc.  have  always  said   that  I needed  to  bring home  someone  with good hair   because  every member  of  my family has good  quality  hair  and  I used  to think   that a  lot of  things  have  changed, I don’ believe  in all that  nonsense.  If it’s not straight hair, it’s the opposite.   You do not need  to marry   a  white  man  or  anyone  that's not  black  and   keep  your  hair  nappy  and  natural, that's what  God  intended. Stop   trying to be white.  Anyways,  I have  problem  with  any one telling  me  how to wear my  hair  unless they are telling me  for  my own good.     I digress, but  let me  get  back on  topic. I said  I was  offended by  that  girl  in that  class, somehow  my  professor   brought the topic  of  race,  prejudice, etc. and   the African Americans  in the  class  brought  about  the issue   of blacks  being discriminated  against  and  that  same girl  said  in an  uncaring  way:  “white people get discriminated  against too. I don’t  know  why  it is  important  for  white  people   to    have  black people  be  like  them  or  why   we    constantly  want to  be  like  them,  straightening our  hair, bleaching  our  skin etc.    The girl I talked  about   did  not believe  she said anything   wrong and would not   apologize   to  the  class. After  class, she came  up   to  me  and  said I really  should  wear  my  hair  like  that; claiming that it  is  much  better  that way  and more appealing  to    everyone    in the  school. She left after that.  All  I am going  say is that we  as   black   people don’t  need  to change  our  hair to  please   anyone  in the  majority  so  that    we can fit     into their  category  of  beautiful.   We are beautiful   on   our own and  we  don’t  need them to tell  us we fit in but I digress. A year later,  I got the same  reaction but from the opposite end only to not keep my hair relax and stop trying to be white.

My hair has always been difficult to maintain and I have always relaxed my hair so that I can manage; but I was really offended when the white girl said that my hair in its kind, natural state was not pretty; but what did I expect from a typical blonde hair, blue eyed white girl? From a typical brown skinned or dark skinned  girl, I expected better. This goes to show that even though white people may have created the social construct of the hair problem, we as black people continue to embrace it whether we agree with the concept of long straight hair or whether we  like our natural hair. It does not matter if one wants to wear their long and straight or have their hair nappy and natural.  We need to stop this division among ourselves and deconstruct this social nonsense of what Black hair  should be and love each other no matter how we wear our hair.