"As Long As I Don't Change..."

Devin Joseph Metz

This is a very personal topic for me; likely due to the fact that I am still undergoing a lot of what will be elaborated and expounded upon in this entry. Feel free to share your personal struggles with us if you can relate.

"Now that I'm on, I don't really want to worry about getting back on.
I'm just trying to stay on, get my f*****g buffet on..."

- Drake from his song "The Resistance" on "Thank Me Later"

As an avid Drake fan(Yes. We do exist; and no. We all didn't surface around the time "So Far Gone" was released), I can most definitely relate to what he means here. We as people definitely pick our spots in life; and that has never become more apparent than when change sweeps over us. As obvious as it is to state this, it bears reiterating that change is inevitable; and along with that inevitability comes the unfortunate opposition to it. What was initially peculiar has now become commonplace: Positive change will always garner more opposition than most anything else.

Necessary change is in my opinion the sole martyr in this consideration. When one reaches a point in his/her life where they are faced with necessary change, everyone won't be on board with the decisions that will ensue; regardless of whether the change is due to dire circumstances, abrupt occurrences or just positive growth in the right situation for the person in the center of that experience. Of course, change rarely affects just the person undergoing it. There will almost always be a number of people affected by the choices of one; and these choices usually come about by changes that have already taken place or those that will have to take place at some point.

In the aforementioned quote, Drake is referring to the very understandable truth that no one aspires to struggle their entire life. We don't have dreams about working to make it to a certain plateau in life. We have dreams about being on that plateau already and much further beyond that point. No one with realistic goals include among them struggling for the sake of always having to.

 

Exactly, Hov. It likely never dawns upon those who disparage the accomplished and those further along in their life's endeavors that the very people they display such groundless hatred towards are the same ones they lauded when said people were working their way up to the point where he/she may currently find themselves. Sort of brings to mind that timeless saying about crabs in a barrel, doesn't it?

I can't say that I find it too peculiar that we cheer for the underdog and jeer at those who have garnered considerable accomplishment to some degree. It isn't so much scientific fact as it is common knowledge that we all pull for the ones putting forth the effort to reach areas of their lives that they may have never been in before; especially if their reasons for never reaching these points in life involve something circumstantial such as wrongful displacement or refusal or never being allotted the opportunity. Additionally, there are times where our distaste for the accomplished among us is substantiated justly; such as if that faction or person intentionally endeavored to keep those deemed less accomplished from advancing further or if the person or people involved display very pompous or arrogant behavior.

So what of those who are exalted and praised for their efforts that actually attain what it is that they have worked so hard for? What happens to those who have done everything they have aspired to do and have started plotting new journeys, conquests, etc. based upon where they now currently find themselves? Are they destined to now relinquish their role as everyone's favorite protagonist for a staunchly opinionated society ready to place the mantle of most hated upon his/her shoulders? This should disclose the viable possibility that even some of the most accomplished people we share such disdain for now may have at one point been the same person that we cheered on for not having what those of greater fortune have.

Humans are strange creatures indeed.

We humans. We who have placed science in the path of those inclined to their own means of religion for the sake of impedance....we who stand firm to our belief that man is meant to evolve and prosper considerably from that evolution for what may likely be an unexplainable reason altogether can't seem to make sense of why we don't praise accomplishment as much as we do the progression that led them there. This is ever present in occupational promotion, team accomplishment, societal accolades and even closer to home: family situations.

The latter I can definitely relate to in a number of ways. The hardest form of opposition one will ever have to face in my opinion when it comes to necessary change will come from those closest to us. That places in the overall scope of things one's family; but this may and in some instances does include close friends, love interests, etc. When we reach critical junctures in our growth as individuals(especially in our youth), there are decisions that will be made regardless of whether or not others believe we are ready. These decisions are almost always life changing occurrences that alter our lives permanently. Loved ones are usually the first among all else who would oppose these cornerstone events in life; no matter how beneficial it may present itself to be in the long run. 

I am approaching seven months in my marriage and I stand as a living testimony to the turbulent, tumultuous trials that have befallen me as a result of my decision to get married and a litany of decisions I have made afterward; but I always kept in mind that no one truly knows what is good for them. We have a God for that; and if I am led to something positive, it was for reasons I nor any who oppose stand to understand yet. Likewise, if I am to be led to something unfortunate such as a shortcoming or a brief impedance, I am more than sure that the lesson in it all is a positive one even if the outcome is dreary.

For the sake of those who have studied Socialism, those who oppose change in most any variety are defined as Functionalists. Those who adhere to this term abhor anything that disrupts what they believe is the natural order of things. Their ebb and flow is all their own; regardless of any evident issues or lack of productivity. Functionalists believe that change is the oppressor of continuity; even if that continuity is skewed or riddled with glaring flaws. The correlation with change here comes when we apply this knowledge to those who oppose the changes that we make in our own lives respectively. There are some who will oppose your decisions out of fear for what may or may not surface. Some will denounce your actions in lieu of change out of some groundless notion that you owe them the charge(or even penance in some cases) of remaining in your current position. The former is completely understandable while the latter is very selfish; although it may stem from some decisively hidden form of fear as well.

How those closest to us respond to our decisions to embrace change will reveal a lot about those closest to us; including any underlying ulterior motives, deep seated feelings, things that they may have been mulling over during the decisions we have pondered, etc. When a close loved one such as a parent or sibling responds negatively to an impending change or one that is currently taking place in our lives, it potentially creates a very emotionally charged disconnect between us and those that we hold dear. This becomes increasingly difficult to deal with; especially if one is completely convinced that he/she is making the decision necessary moving forward. Anything good rarely ever really surfaces as a result of this disconnect. Things become awkward and uncomfortable, we are viewed in a different light, new and often unsavory opinions are shaped and in much more delicate instances, there tend to be confrontations or deliberate lapses in communication that drive a seemingly permanent rift between us and those who oppose the decisions we settle upon as a result of changes that must take place in our lives.

Whether necessary, foolish, unexplainable or completely misunderstood altogether, change will happen; and it usually isn't easy for any of the parties involved. To avoid the disconnect that may take place, these changes should be discussed instead of avoided or argued over. There must be an understanding of all individual feelings and concerns among other things involved surrounding any change; preferably before it happens. Nothing hurts worse than feeling like you are forced to undergo this change alone. It isn't always about the need for support or even losing someone we love when one arrives at a certain point in life.

What is most difficult yet highly important about change is that any decision involving change must be yours and yours alone. There is no doubt that there will be influences abound that will help to shape the decision; but if the final say does not involve what you decide rather than what one decides on your behalf or in spite of what you wish, that is pretty much the equivalent of working hard so that your money could be seized and issued to you in portioned allowances; and I don't anticipate that I will meet anyone that is okay with that.

To some degree, we should disregard the stance of others when making certain decisions; especially if they appear life altering. Doing so does not necessarily constitute arrogance or a display of stubborn behavior; contrary to what others may perceive. Our paths in life have been predetermined to an extent but all are subject to change; and when the time comes to make that shift in our lives, we must do so with a measure of confidence, understanding and faith. Change is different from most journeys because one's transition in life may take place during another person's transition; be it similar or differential in variance. Regardless of the number of changes that occur between us, it is up to every individual to decide when they are ready to embark upon it.



It might not be the road seldom traveled; but it is an experience that carries a great deal of exclusivity.

Besides, if we all went through the same change in life, we would never learn from or about each other.