Saturday, August 31, 2013
Friday, August 30, 2013
Being a Leader, and Not a Follower, in Your Own Life
By Melanie Blake
When we are young and inpressionable, we are easily fascinated by everything and anything we see. Cool new fads and gadgets, the latest trends, the ways and means of how our schoolyard companions play, talk and act. We idolize everything we see, if even for a moment, because we are still trying to build and identify ourselves. We want so badly to have an identity, a way of communicating our thoughts , ideals, and goals, that we will grasp at anything in order to be socially acceptable. We are confused and unstable; one minute our favorite color is pink, next it is blue. One minute we want to be Britney Spears, the next Christina Aguilera.
As we go through the changes in identity, we take small pieces of each experience with us, resulting in a complex and unique individual person, personality, and history. We learn what we like; and what we don't. We learn what works for us, and what we're not quite so good at. We discover our strengths and weaknesses, and over time, we fall into a "category" that best suits our personality. We find like-minded friends, and begin to pursue interests promoted within our social group, such as competitive people becoming athletes and working hard to become the best in their sport, for example. It is in our youth that we are shaped into who we shall become in the future. When you are young, you need the "training wheels" of life to help guide you in the right direction, like parents, teachers, mentors, and family who are a positve influence on you. But as you get older, and hopefully more mature, it is crucial that you begin to take the reigns of your life and map out your own path, for your own sake. You must take off the training wheels, and feel the pride of being able to hold yourself afloat. Knowing right from wrong with mom standing over you, doing the right thing when no one is looking. Those are the moments that help define us as mature adults, and we continue to learn and grow from those experiences as we mature.
But now more than ever, more people would rather be a follower, and let the actions of others develop their personality and ethics, than be a leader and develop a set of goals, ideals, and morals for themselves. They still have a young mentality and look to celebrities and reality shows, TV and movies, to guide them in their real life pursuits. But it makes no sense; and our generation is suffering tremendously for it. The biggest problem with being a follower is that those that you are following are not emotionally invested in the outcome of your life, that you are coincidentally shaping around their behavior. That person that you are following blindly is not looking back to see the repercussions of your idolatry of them.
A great example that I will use is Rihanna. Yes, she's a celebrity, but many young women shape their behavior around this woman, her personal life and her music, for what reason I know not. But back to Bad Gal Ri Ri. What do we know about her? She's famous, beautiful and dramatic. She smokes weed. She has tattoos. She's rather promiscuous, and is proud of it. She's in and out of her emotionally and physically abusive relationship with bad boy Chris Brown. And her "Navy?" Worship the ground she walks on. Repeat her song lyrics and apply them to their lives. Dress like her. Talk like her. Sing, "Ain't nobody bidness.." about their own toxic relationships. Post cute black & white weed photos on IG, just like their leader Rihanna. But do you know what the problem is here? Rihanna is a multi-millionaire entertainer who's job it is to be wild and outrageous and keep her name in the tabloids. Obviously, the cops aren't checkin' RiRi for marijuana possession because she woulda BEEN locked up. But what happens when you get caught with it? You'll be going straight to jail, and "...but Rihanna does it!" will not be an acceptable defense.
We have to start coming to terms with the fact that we must be not only responsible for our actions, but be strong enough to develop our OWN sense of right and wrong. Set standards for ourselves. Just because celebrities sleep with everyone on the block does not mean that you have to. Just because everyone in your family is an alcoholic doesn't mean that you have to follow down the same path. Just because everyone in your neighborhood prides themselves on taking advantage of the governmental benefits system doesn't mean that you have to set your own personal growth bar that low. Hold you head up, and realize your own worth and potential. I know this sounds crazy and counter intuitive, but the media and these pseudo-celebrities that they crank out like K. Michelle and NeNe Leakes and whoever else is on those shows are meant to keep you down. To keep your mentality in the gutter. To stop you from wanting the best for yourself. To make you idolize material things, and lose focus on spiritual things. And even though you sit at home, scoffing at their pitiful personal drama, you will slowly but surely begin to mimic their behavior, their colloquialisms, and their lifestyle.
I know we all have our "crosses to bare," and everyone's life is different. We all want different things, and have different sights set for ourselves. But let your vision be yours; not somebody elses. When its all said and done, and the smoke clears, you'll regret not having the strength to live your own life instead of blindly following behind someone elses. Be your own beautiful, smart, unique, talented self, and make the best of it! The sky is the limit, don't let the TV, or the media, or your boyfriend, or your friends, or your family, or anything else stop you from being the best self that you can be.
When we are young and inpressionable, we are easily fascinated by everything and anything we see. Cool new fads and gadgets, the latest trends, the ways and means of how our schoolyard companions play, talk and act. We idolize everything we see, if even for a moment, because we are still trying to build and identify ourselves. We want so badly to have an identity, a way of communicating our thoughts , ideals, and goals, that we will grasp at anything in order to be socially acceptable. We are confused and unstable; one minute our favorite color is pink, next it is blue. One minute we want to be Britney Spears, the next Christina Aguilera.
As we go through the changes in identity, we take small pieces of each experience with us, resulting in a complex and unique individual person, personality, and history. We learn what we like; and what we don't. We learn what works for us, and what we're not quite so good at. We discover our strengths and weaknesses, and over time, we fall into a "category" that best suits our personality. We find like-minded friends, and begin to pursue interests promoted within our social group, such as competitive people becoming athletes and working hard to become the best in their sport, for example. It is in our youth that we are shaped into who we shall become in the future. When you are young, you need the "training wheels" of life to help guide you in the right direction, like parents, teachers, mentors, and family who are a positve influence on you. But as you get older, and hopefully more mature, it is crucial that you begin to take the reigns of your life and map out your own path, for your own sake. You must take off the training wheels, and feel the pride of being able to hold yourself afloat. Knowing right from wrong with mom standing over you, doing the right thing when no one is looking. Those are the moments that help define us as mature adults, and we continue to learn and grow from those experiences as we mature.
But now more than ever, more people would rather be a follower, and let the actions of others develop their personality and ethics, than be a leader and develop a set of goals, ideals, and morals for themselves. They still have a young mentality and look to celebrities and reality shows, TV and movies, to guide them in their real life pursuits. But it makes no sense; and our generation is suffering tremendously for it. The biggest problem with being a follower is that those that you are following are not emotionally invested in the outcome of your life, that you are coincidentally shaping around their behavior. That person that you are following blindly is not looking back to see the repercussions of your idolatry of them.
A great example that I will use is Rihanna. Yes, she's a celebrity, but many young women shape their behavior around this woman, her personal life and her music, for what reason I know not. But back to Bad Gal Ri Ri. What do we know about her? She's famous, beautiful and dramatic. She smokes weed. She has tattoos. She's rather promiscuous, and is proud of it. She's in and out of her emotionally and physically abusive relationship with bad boy Chris Brown. And her "Navy?" Worship the ground she walks on. Repeat her song lyrics and apply them to their lives. Dress like her. Talk like her. Sing, "Ain't nobody bidness.." about their own toxic relationships. Post cute black & white weed photos on IG, just like their leader Rihanna. But do you know what the problem is here? Rihanna is a multi-millionaire entertainer who's job it is to be wild and outrageous and keep her name in the tabloids. Obviously, the cops aren't checkin' RiRi for marijuana possession because she woulda BEEN locked up. But what happens when you get caught with it? You'll be going straight to jail, and "...but Rihanna does it!" will not be an acceptable defense.
We have to start coming to terms with the fact that we must be not only responsible for our actions, but be strong enough to develop our OWN sense of right and wrong. Set standards for ourselves. Just because celebrities sleep with everyone on the block does not mean that you have to. Just because everyone in your family is an alcoholic doesn't mean that you have to follow down the same path. Just because everyone in your neighborhood prides themselves on taking advantage of the governmental benefits system doesn't mean that you have to set your own personal growth bar that low. Hold you head up, and realize your own worth and potential. I know this sounds crazy and counter intuitive, but the media and these pseudo-celebrities that they crank out like K. Michelle and NeNe Leakes and whoever else is on those shows are meant to keep you down. To keep your mentality in the gutter. To stop you from wanting the best for yourself. To make you idolize material things, and lose focus on spiritual things. And even though you sit at home, scoffing at their pitiful personal drama, you will slowly but surely begin to mimic their behavior, their colloquialisms, and their lifestyle.
I know we all have our "crosses to bare," and everyone's life is different. We all want different things, and have different sights set for ourselves. But let your vision be yours; not somebody elses. When its all said and done, and the smoke clears, you'll regret not having the strength to live your own life instead of blindly following behind someone elses. Be your own beautiful, smart, unique, talented self, and make the best of it! The sky is the limit, don't let the TV, or the media, or your boyfriend, or your friends, or your family, or anything else stop you from being the best self that you can be.
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Marriage Advice from a Newlywed
By Melanie Blake
As a newlywed woman (We jumped the broom on February 22 of this year), I always hear one of two things; "Congratulations, when's the baby coming?" and "Oh, how sweet! The little newlyweds! Wait until you've been married as long as me to what marriage is really like!" And I respectfully roll my eyes.
Yes, I get where that comes from, and yes, I understand that things are going to change over the years, and that we will face adversity as a couple. But we're not as ignorant as we look. We didn't blindly jump into marriage without a clue on what to do, what to expect or any guidance. We also dated before we got married, too, so we do know a little bit about each other. As much as older couples want to offer words of advice or caution every time they see a newly married couple, I actually think it is them that could greatly benefit from a "refresher course" on marriage from a happy-go-lucky pair of newlyweds like us.
1. Keep dating each other. Newlyweds usually don't have a problem with this because we still feel like we are dating, with wedding rings! But couples who have been married a while should still keep this in mind too. Keep bringing her flowers, keep getting dolled up when you two go out to dinner. Make your time together special. Married people like dates, too!
2. Have sex! Newlyweds can't get enough of it! We are still in the 'Honeymoon stage' and that phrase is based largely on the fact that we're having sex, and a lot of it. But being married for more than a year doesn't mean that you stop making it a priority to make love to each other and show your affection in a physical way. Don't let kids and work and personal goals get in the way of your physical intimacy with your spouse; that is a special bond that you two share that makes your marriage to each other unique from any other relationship you are a part of. Sex is important, and its good for the heart, both physically and emotionally.
3. Always say I love you and kiss each other goodbye. People often mock newlyweds for always making googly eyes and kissing incessantly. We hate to see each other leave, and we can't seem to get off the phone with each other. Our new marriage is so exciting and irresistable to us. We rejoice over each time we reunite. Though it sounds cheesy, you should keep doing it. You never know when you will get your last chance to kiss your lover goodbye and say I love you. Do you really want the last thing you said to your husband to be that you're tired of him leaving his socks on the ground while you were hastily walking out of the door? I don't think so. Value your spouse and let them know that you can't wait to see them again when you leave for work in the morning.
4. Be best friends. Talk to each other. Have fun together. Put each other before everything and everyone else. Don't keep secrets from each other. It will always be better if you tell your spouse the truth. They can fix their damaged pride, but broken trust is never the same. You can maintain that "just like new" newlywed feeling all throughout your marriage by working hard to make it better each day, not idly watch it get weaker.
5. Celebrate your love. Realize how lucky you are that you have your spouse to share your life with. Think back on how happy you were the day you married them. For newlyweds, that was only a few months ago, but for me personally, it still brings tears to my eyes when I think of how I felt when I officially became Mrs. Blake. It was more than a name change; it was a life change, and I thank God for that moment, and every moment following that I will get to share with my husband. Find that moment that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy about your husband and wife and meditate on it for a few minutes, its guaranteed to make you appreciate your spouse!
These are just a few of the many, many tips that can be said about being married, and staying (happily) married. Many times, experience is the greatest teacher, and I do love and appreciate the wisdom that older married couples can provide, but there is a special knowledge that comes from still being in the "Honeymoon phase" that can be easily forgotten under a pile of bills, kids, and just life in general that tends to slip away from many couples over the years. Whether you've been married for thirty days or thirty years, you can never show your spouse too much love or appreciation.
As a newlywed woman (We jumped the broom on February 22 of this year), I always hear one of two things; "Congratulations, when's the baby coming?" and "Oh, how sweet! The little newlyweds! Wait until you've been married as long as me to what marriage is really like!" And I respectfully roll my eyes.
Yes, I get where that comes from, and yes, I understand that things are going to change over the years, and that we will face adversity as a couple. But we're not as ignorant as we look. We didn't blindly jump into marriage without a clue on what to do, what to expect or any guidance. We also dated before we got married, too, so we do know a little bit about each other. As much as older couples want to offer words of advice or caution every time they see a newly married couple, I actually think it is them that could greatly benefit from a "refresher course" on marriage from a happy-go-lucky pair of newlyweds like us.
1. Keep dating each other. Newlyweds usually don't have a problem with this because we still feel like we are dating, with wedding rings! But couples who have been married a while should still keep this in mind too. Keep bringing her flowers, keep getting dolled up when you two go out to dinner. Make your time together special. Married people like dates, too!
2. Have sex! Newlyweds can't get enough of it! We are still in the 'Honeymoon stage' and that phrase is based largely on the fact that we're having sex, and a lot of it. But being married for more than a year doesn't mean that you stop making it a priority to make love to each other and show your affection in a physical way. Don't let kids and work and personal goals get in the way of your physical intimacy with your spouse; that is a special bond that you two share that makes your marriage to each other unique from any other relationship you are a part of. Sex is important, and its good for the heart, both physically and emotionally.
3. Always say I love you and kiss each other goodbye. People often mock newlyweds for always making googly eyes and kissing incessantly. We hate to see each other leave, and we can't seem to get off the phone with each other. Our new marriage is so exciting and irresistable to us. We rejoice over each time we reunite. Though it sounds cheesy, you should keep doing it. You never know when you will get your last chance to kiss your lover goodbye and say I love you. Do you really want the last thing you said to your husband to be that you're tired of him leaving his socks on the ground while you were hastily walking out of the door? I don't think so. Value your spouse and let them know that you can't wait to see them again when you leave for work in the morning.
4. Be best friends. Talk to each other. Have fun together. Put each other before everything and everyone else. Don't keep secrets from each other. It will always be better if you tell your spouse the truth. They can fix their damaged pride, but broken trust is never the same. You can maintain that "just like new" newlywed feeling all throughout your marriage by working hard to make it better each day, not idly watch it get weaker.
5. Celebrate your love. Realize how lucky you are that you have your spouse to share your life with. Think back on how happy you were the day you married them. For newlyweds, that was only a few months ago, but for me personally, it still brings tears to my eyes when I think of how I felt when I officially became Mrs. Blake. It was more than a name change; it was a life change, and I thank God for that moment, and every moment following that I will get to share with my husband. Find that moment that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy about your husband and wife and meditate on it for a few minutes, its guaranteed to make you appreciate your spouse!
These are just a few of the many, many tips that can be said about being married, and staying (happily) married. Many times, experience is the greatest teacher, and I do love and appreciate the wisdom that older married couples can provide, but there is a special knowledge that comes from still being in the "Honeymoon phase" that can be easily forgotten under a pile of bills, kids, and just life in general that tends to slip away from many couples over the years. Whether you've been married for thirty days or thirty years, you can never show your spouse too much love or appreciation.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
The Rape Culture!
The
Rape culture
What
is the rape culture? The rape culture is when society
sees a drunken girl who is passed out being attacked by
a group of boys and do nothing. Rape culture is when one
of those said attackers take pictures of the girl and post
it on facebook, myspace or twitter and the audience take part
in bullying and teasing the said victim. Rape culture is when
we have idiotic politicians talking about legitimate rape.
We
live in a type of society that is immune to the sexual
assault of women, men and children and does nothing about
it. We live in a culture where women are blamed for their rape
because they dressed in what this culture says to be
indecent or provocative or they decided to have a good time
with their friends and get drunk.
Rape
culture is when rape victims are denied the choice to have an
abortion and made by politicians to have their rapist baby.
Rape culture is when the police and judicial system fail and
treat the victim like the criminal. Rape culture is when the
system fails and give the criminal a 30 day sentence. Rape
culture is when that said victim commits suicide. Rape culture is
when a victim is mocked when he/she goes to therapy . Rape
culture is when the victims are told to get over it. Rape
culture is when the church and other religious groups are silent.
Rape
culture is when religious organizations focus so much on the
victim forgiving her abuser than denouncing the criminal. Rape
culture is when religious organizations force their doctrine about
abortion on the victim. Finally Rape culture is when society has
become immune to sexual assault against women, children and men.
How
can we overcome the rape culture?
We
can give the victims the choice to have an abortion if they
were violated. We can stop with the blaming of the victim whether
she dressed like a slut or whether she was passed out. We can get
rid of Politicians who come up with this legitimate rape
business. We can offer access to psychologists, therapists,
counselors and other mental health professionals. The church must
stop being silent and stop forcing their doctrine about abortion
on rape victims. The church needs to stop talking about only
forgiveness of the rapist but denounce them and focus on the
healing of the victim. We must stop telling the victim to get over
it. Healing takes time, sometimes days, sometimes weeks,
sometimes months and yes sometimes even years. These things
cannot happen unless we become desensitized from this rape
culture. This may take very long because society is resistant to
the cries of these victims.
Friday, August 23, 2013
Thursday, August 22, 2013
"Love For Literature Part 1: I Can't Write!!!"
Devin Joseph Metz
"Biting my truant pen, beating myself for spite: "Fool!" said my muse to me, "look in thy heart, and write."" - Philip Sydney from "Astrophel and Stella"
Wanna know what really grinds any writer's gears; be it an Author, Novelist, Poet, Column Writer, etc?
Its that period of time when everything is stagnant. Its that unpredictable amount of time when all of those great ideas that one has either vanish or never seem to piece together initially. Its that portion of your life where the most undeserving victims incur our wrath; and these victims are usually comprised of waste baskets filled past the brim with balls of paper, ink pens that are tapped against the edge of hard surfaces(including our heads) and pencils that find themselves inhumanely mangled between our teeth in confused anger.
There is nothing more frustrating to us than Writer's Block; especially for we poets of the world. Sydney is telling our life story with the aforementioned quote. We as writers undergo extensive or brief periods of writer's block until we have that epiphany moment of sorts where we are left slapping our palm against our head after realizing where our muse was the whole time. It doesn't always happen that way, though.The cure for writer's block won't always come in the form of a stirring moment of remembrance. In my honest opinion, I believe that writer's block can be easily rectified most times if not every time by first understanding what caused it in the first place; especially since there isn't necessarily one usual suspect here universally when it comes to writer's block occurring.
Take into consideration what may have been going on around you while you were trying to write. Some writers find themselves distracted easily; thus making it difficult for them to focus on their writing unless they are in complete solitude. For some time(and still to this day every now and then; although I am not easily distracted), I have found myself in this type of situation. I lived in a house full of people and the visitors of said people. There was always something going on or a huge crowd making as much unnecessary noise as is humanly possible. Foolish as it may be perceived, I tried drowning out the noise with the television or my own music. Not the best idea, of course. Drowning out noise requires louder noise; which will still defeat the manifest of what this writer is looking to attain: Solitude.
That peaceful silence may aid the writer's focus substantially; in turn helping the writer key in on his/her own thoughts instead of thoughts relative to what someone else is doing around them. Once this is achieved, the writer can have a fair, one on one battle with writer's block instead of one where the writer's surroundings places him/her at a severe disadvantage.
Getting rid of writer's block isn't necessarily always a matter of confrontation, though. There may be other ways to subvert something so frustrating. Some of us find that we have to be in a certain setting in order to successfully write. For some writers, solitude serves as their largest deterrent if that makes any sense. The desired setting may call for mild to frantic activity to surround that person. I've not met many people who will claim this as their preference, however. Some writers just want some music while they are writing; be it on a radio or in their headphones. I can definitely say that I enjoy listening to music in my ear buds while writing; but there is a lot more to it than just having earphones on for me. I have detailed preferences.
Music lends us the opportunity to counter writer's block from a number of different angles; like a misdirection strategy of sorts. While writer's block serves mainly to stall us in our writing; incurring aggravation and other means of distraction, music in many ways soothes the troubled mind and spirit(really Zen, huh?) in a manner that calms the writer; allowing him/her to find peace with oneself so that productivity can eventually commence once more. It should be noted, however that this calming sensation is not hinged upon what type of music the person is listening to.
Seriously. You don't have to listen to only Classical, Neo-Soul, R&B, or any soothing music in order to find your relaxation to avoid writer's block. I know some people who listen to rock music to get their desired degree of relaxation. I know others that listen to Hip-Hop; which is highly understandable given the lyricism. Peak lyricism gets the creative juices flowing consciously and some songs may even serve as a means of supplemental inspiration(a Muse, if you will.). Hell, I even know of one or two people that can only write when listening to Young Jeezy.
Don't ask me how that works out...
I can say that as a Poet, there are varying instances that must take place for me to write; especially if I am looking to rid myself of writer's block. There are some times when I find that I have to take my time and really think before keying in on my writing; which leaves me wanting to be closed off, in a matter of speaking. I must have total silence aside from an air conditioner unit blowing, of course. More often, however, I have become more accustomed to writing while listening to music. I'm able to spark some creativity contingent upon what I'm listening to at the time that may break me out of my stint of writer's block. I also find that I'm able to soothe myself with the melody and rhythm of the music or even the lyrical content therein; which in turn helps me better deal with writer's block and even offers me the elusive muse that I have been looking for given any certain amount of time. Music is one very potent accompaniment for literature as it stands; but there are times where it may serve best as a therapeutic means rather than just as a means of inspiration.
One thing to understand about writer's block is that you should never give into it. It should also be understood that choosing not to write at the time until you can figure things out is in no way to be perceived as giving into writer's block. I think this would illustrate what I mean:
This poor fellow here is engaging in an extremely counterproductive response to his writer's block. Not only does he miss the opportunity to go around his issue so that he can get back to his productivity; but he also chooses to give in to both writer's block and the frustration that it incites.
Banging your head against a wall, being short tempered and ridiculously scathing, or just being an overall hard person for anyone to find a plausible reason to be around won't make your situation better; whether you are dealing with writer's block or anything else in life. Giving in to writer's block involves feeding in to that frustration and aggravation; which only helps further the manifest of writer's block: distracting you from your manifest of writing.
Ever been around that family member that complains more about the chores that need to be done instead of actually doing them? How about that coworker that complains about their job so much that it causes a lapse in productivity across the board?
Gotten used to the rhetorical questions in my entries yet?
My point here is that nothing productive comes from succumbing to the anger that we can and most times will find ourselves privy to when it comes to writer's block. The first step to solving a problem involves acknowledging that it is a problem; but there is a large difference between acknowledging something and dwelling on it. Time is wasted and nothing is solved from dwelling on an issue. The issue will be as ever present as it was before we first noticed it and it will continue to be there if no further action is taken. Avoid the distractions, remain calm and focus on a productive solution to your problem. After all...
"We wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment." - Hilaire Belloc
Couldn't have stated it better. We often bring on our own distractions in our wandering. Not saying that this is always a bad thing, of course; but there are times where one's desired focus is compromised.
There are some that believe that the best way to rid oneself of writer's block is to just randomly write whatever comes to mind; even if it doesn't make sense or has absolutely no continuity to it. The general idea here is that one will eventually get to the point where he/she is either struck with inspiration or they will develop ideas based on what they wrote down that may forge some semblance of inspiration later on.
I can't say outright that I don't believe that this method is effective; but I do think that it harbors the potential to lead to what I consider to be a very distasteful habit later on. In my opinion, forcing your way through anything robs it of authenticity; especially when literature is involved. Forced work lacks the time, patience, care, love and dedication that is usually ever present in a complete piece of work; and it definitely shows itself as such when presented or observed.
Think about those sandwiches from your favorite fast food establishments that always look awesome on television commercials but never look even 1/4 as great when you purchase it.
Same concept, pretty much; especially for those writers that have garnered a measure of tenure among their contemporaries. Well known writers have a reputation to laud; so it would be surprising and disappointing for them to forcefully release material just to fit within the confines of a deadline or because they are frustrated over not writing as frequently as they would like to be writing.
If anybody knows anything about that, I surely do. It used to vex me to no end when I would go a certain amount of time without writing. what was only maybe a week or two felt like months to me(my wife reminds me of this constantly.) and I would find myself fighting the urge to just jot something down and put it out there just to say that I've written something. If you learn nothing else about me, you'll learn that I love my literature. I especially love my Poetry. I love it so much that I wouldn't dare disrespect it in that manner; and if you love what it is that you do, then you would make sure that you never disrespect it in that said manner either.
I've spoken with friends and contemporaries of mine regarding their perceived solutions to writer's block and they've even stated that their use of certain vices such as smoking or libation place them in a certain effect or "zone" for their creative thought processes. Now I'm not one to doubt their methods completely. I'm not and never will be a smoker; but I have written some rather awesome stanzas while enjoying a glass of whiskey every now and then.
As far as the effectiveness of these methods is concerned, I think that since writer's block already does enough to impair one's creative thought process, it may not prove beneficial to compromise it further.
This is just my opinion, of course. Feel free to engage in whichever method or series of steps you deem effective.
Writer's Block isn't a disease, condition, disorder or anything like that. It is merely a temporary state of mind; one that may last days, weeks, months or longer. Regardless of how long it endures, keep in mind that you still have control over your drive, ambition, passion, intellect, and overall timing of your creativity. That creativity is a God given talent that belongs solely to you; and nothing can take that from you without your consent. So tap those pens against the table if you need to(Be careful, though. Some of them explode after doing that for awhile.). Palm your forehead. Close your eyes. Listen to some music. Enjoy a drink or a snack. Hey, even take a walk if necessary. Just do your environment one huge favor, though:
Go easy on the pencil chewing, huh? We can certainly agree that they've suffered enough.
Getting rid of writer's block isn't necessarily always a matter of confrontation, though. There may be other ways to subvert something so frustrating. Some of us find that we have to be in a certain setting in order to successfully write. For some writers, solitude serves as their largest deterrent if that makes any sense. The desired setting may call for mild to frantic activity to surround that person. I've not met many people who will claim this as their preference, however. Some writers just want some music while they are writing; be it on a radio or in their headphones. I can definitely say that I enjoy listening to music in my ear buds while writing; but there is a lot more to it than just having earphones on for me. I have detailed preferences.
Music lends us the opportunity to counter writer's block from a number of different angles; like a misdirection strategy of sorts. While writer's block serves mainly to stall us in our writing; incurring aggravation and other means of distraction, music in many ways soothes the troubled mind and spirit(really Zen, huh?) in a manner that calms the writer; allowing him/her to find peace with oneself so that productivity can eventually commence once more. It should be noted, however that this calming sensation is not hinged upon what type of music the person is listening to.
Seriously. You don't have to listen to only Classical, Neo-Soul, R&B, or any soothing music in order to find your relaxation to avoid writer's block. I know some people who listen to rock music to get their desired degree of relaxation. I know others that listen to Hip-Hop; which is highly understandable given the lyricism. Peak lyricism gets the creative juices flowing consciously and some songs may even serve as a means of supplemental inspiration(a Muse, if you will.). Hell, I even know of one or two people that can only write when listening to Young Jeezy.
Don't ask me how that works out...
I can say that as a Poet, there are varying instances that must take place for me to write; especially if I am looking to rid myself of writer's block. There are some times when I find that I have to take my time and really think before keying in on my writing; which leaves me wanting to be closed off, in a matter of speaking. I must have total silence aside from an air conditioner unit blowing, of course. More often, however, I have become more accustomed to writing while listening to music. I'm able to spark some creativity contingent upon what I'm listening to at the time that may break me out of my stint of writer's block. I also find that I'm able to soothe myself with the melody and rhythm of the music or even the lyrical content therein; which in turn helps me better deal with writer's block and even offers me the elusive muse that I have been looking for given any certain amount of time. Music is one very potent accompaniment for literature as it stands; but there are times where it may serve best as a therapeutic means rather than just as a means of inspiration.
One thing to understand about writer's block is that you should never give into it. It should also be understood that choosing not to write at the time until you can figure things out is in no way to be perceived as giving into writer's block. I think this would illustrate what I mean:
This poor fellow here is engaging in an extremely counterproductive response to his writer's block. Not only does he miss the opportunity to go around his issue so that he can get back to his productivity; but he also chooses to give in to both writer's block and the frustration that it incites.
Banging your head against a wall, being short tempered and ridiculously scathing, or just being an overall hard person for anyone to find a plausible reason to be around won't make your situation better; whether you are dealing with writer's block or anything else in life. Giving in to writer's block involves feeding in to that frustration and aggravation; which only helps further the manifest of writer's block: distracting you from your manifest of writing.
Ever been around that family member that complains more about the chores that need to be done instead of actually doing them? How about that coworker that complains about their job so much that it causes a lapse in productivity across the board?
Gotten used to the rhetorical questions in my entries yet?
My point here is that nothing productive comes from succumbing to the anger that we can and most times will find ourselves privy to when it comes to writer's block. The first step to solving a problem involves acknowledging that it is a problem; but there is a large difference between acknowledging something and dwelling on it. Time is wasted and nothing is solved from dwelling on an issue. The issue will be as ever present as it was before we first noticed it and it will continue to be there if no further action is taken. Avoid the distractions, remain calm and focus on a productive solution to your problem. After all...
"We wander for distraction, but we travel for fulfillment." - Hilaire Belloc
Couldn't have stated it better. We often bring on our own distractions in our wandering. Not saying that this is always a bad thing, of course; but there are times where one's desired focus is compromised.
There are some that believe that the best way to rid oneself of writer's block is to just randomly write whatever comes to mind; even if it doesn't make sense or has absolutely no continuity to it. The general idea here is that one will eventually get to the point where he/she is either struck with inspiration or they will develop ideas based on what they wrote down that may forge some semblance of inspiration later on.
I can't say outright that I don't believe that this method is effective; but I do think that it harbors the potential to lead to what I consider to be a very distasteful habit later on. In my opinion, forcing your way through anything robs it of authenticity; especially when literature is involved. Forced work lacks the time, patience, care, love and dedication that is usually ever present in a complete piece of work; and it definitely shows itself as such when presented or observed.
Think about those sandwiches from your favorite fast food establishments that always look awesome on television commercials but never look even 1/4 as great when you purchase it.
Same concept, pretty much; especially for those writers that have garnered a measure of tenure among their contemporaries. Well known writers have a reputation to laud; so it would be surprising and disappointing for them to forcefully release material just to fit within the confines of a deadline or because they are frustrated over not writing as frequently as they would like to be writing.
If anybody knows anything about that, I surely do. It used to vex me to no end when I would go a certain amount of time without writing. what was only maybe a week or two felt like months to me(my wife reminds me of this constantly.) and I would find myself fighting the urge to just jot something down and put it out there just to say that I've written something. If you learn nothing else about me, you'll learn that I love my literature. I especially love my Poetry. I love it so much that I wouldn't dare disrespect it in that manner; and if you love what it is that you do, then you would make sure that you never disrespect it in that said manner either.
I've spoken with friends and contemporaries of mine regarding their perceived solutions to writer's block and they've even stated that their use of certain vices such as smoking or libation place them in a certain effect or "zone" for their creative thought processes. Now I'm not one to doubt their methods completely. I'm not and never will be a smoker; but I have written some rather awesome stanzas while enjoying a glass of whiskey every now and then.
As far as the effectiveness of these methods is concerned, I think that since writer's block already does enough to impair one's creative thought process, it may not prove beneficial to compromise it further.
This is just my opinion, of course. Feel free to engage in whichever method or series of steps you deem effective.
Writer's Block isn't a disease, condition, disorder or anything like that. It is merely a temporary state of mind; one that may last days, weeks, months or longer. Regardless of how long it endures, keep in mind that you still have control over your drive, ambition, passion, intellect, and overall timing of your creativity. That creativity is a God given talent that belongs solely to you; and nothing can take that from you without your consent. So tap those pens against the table if you need to(Be careful, though. Some of them explode after doing that for awhile.). Palm your forehead. Close your eyes. Listen to some music. Enjoy a drink or a snack. Hey, even take a walk if necessary. Just do your environment one huge favor, though:
Go easy on the pencil chewing, huh? We can certainly agree that they've suffered enough.
Monday, August 19, 2013
"The Fence"
"The Fence"
Turned off the lights
just to be certain.
Swiftly cocked my weapon
before parting the curtains.
Deafening these halls
where the stagnant scream.
Now silent after violence,
I've locked away my dreams.
The front door too heavy to hold.
Fortified dead bolts form fit the mold.
The slip latch rusts away in its groove.
Every key fits; but it refuses to move.
Dewdrops darker when the moon hides.
Whips wrap around hips. The eclipse.
The shroud cast upon iniquity.
Chilly showers rinse all divinity
as if it were mass produced.
Potential suitors have called a truce:
The stern tone that we hear
serves as a throne for their fear.
Crystal clear vision through my window.
Portrait of the consummate widow:
A bitter figure with no means
amid a dark and gloomy scene.
I have seen what lies ahead:
The streets a sea of blinding red
bred of lies that we were fed.
The fortunate are lying dead
while we toil with circumstance.
Against the fence they've danced;
prancing around what they covet.
I observe them hanging from it.
Above it the voulchers hover.
Their wings blanket the sky.
Even the brightest stars are covered.
The loosely dangling are soon smothered.
Some say they failed to realize
that they should look to the skies;
but some of them were wise.
They would not gouge their eyes.
Not willingly, at least.
I am never at peace;
but I'm certainly somewhat settled.
I've no desire to test my mettle.
Medals from my proud days
collect dust while tucked away.
Threw out the display case
the day it slammed against her face.
She used to be we.
She was never me;
but who would ever want to be?
Especially not now. I've often wondered,
how could one succumb
to the point where minds are numb
like the body it encapsulates?
How they would captivate her senseless.
Since less time spent at home,
I've found myself here alone
until the days stopped shining bright;
giving way to the darkest nights.
Walked for miles in my confusion
amid woeful destitution.
Institutions we once treasured
are now havens for ill pleasures.
Vile pollution in each camp,
prostitution running rampant,
and the youth I thought were trapped
are the ones who've proudly stamped it.
I can't find her anywhere.
Then her silhouette once fair
was riddled with sores once bare.
Leaking from them are her cares.
I observed her on her knees.
Fists full of her hair he squeezed.
He oscillates his head in splendor.
she assumes her role as lender.
Splinters stab her from the skies.
Rinsed his remnants from her eyes.
Couldn't even start to cry.
Wiped her chin then we locked eyes.
No remorse as recompense.
None of it made any sense.
They walked away; leaving me tense.
I haven't heard from her since.
The autopsy made it plain:
yet another addict slain.
Said she never felt the pain.
Scraped her off the fence again.
She met her killers in distress.
She gave them her home address.
Told them when I would return;
so as far as I'm concerned,
I'll make good her claim tonight
on this street of broken lights
and if any should take their chance,
look for them where they once danced.
Written By: Devin Joseph Metz
Turned off the lights
just to be certain.
Swiftly cocked my weapon
before parting the curtains.
Deafening these halls
where the stagnant scream.
Now silent after violence,
I've locked away my dreams.
The front door too heavy to hold.
Fortified dead bolts form fit the mold.
The slip latch rusts away in its groove.
Every key fits; but it refuses to move.
Dewdrops darker when the moon hides.
Whips wrap around hips. The eclipse.
The shroud cast upon iniquity.
Chilly showers rinse all divinity
as if it were mass produced.
Potential suitors have called a truce:
The stern tone that we hear
serves as a throne for their fear.
Crystal clear vision through my window.
Portrait of the consummate widow:
A bitter figure with no means
amid a dark and gloomy scene.
I have seen what lies ahead:
The streets a sea of blinding red
bred of lies that we were fed.
The fortunate are lying dead
while we toil with circumstance.
Against the fence they've danced;
prancing around what they covet.
I observe them hanging from it.
Above it the voulchers hover.
Their wings blanket the sky.
Even the brightest stars are covered.
The loosely dangling are soon smothered.
Some say they failed to realize
that they should look to the skies;
but some of them were wise.
They would not gouge their eyes.
Not willingly, at least.
I am never at peace;
but I'm certainly somewhat settled.
I've no desire to test my mettle.
Medals from my proud days
collect dust while tucked away.
Threw out the display case
the day it slammed against her face.
She used to be we.
She was never me;
but who would ever want to be?
Especially not now. I've often wondered,
how could one succumb
to the point where minds are numb
like the body it encapsulates?
How they would captivate her senseless.
Since less time spent at home,
I've found myself here alone
until the days stopped shining bright;
giving way to the darkest nights.
Walked for miles in my confusion
amid woeful destitution.
Institutions we once treasured
are now havens for ill pleasures.
Vile pollution in each camp,
prostitution running rampant,
and the youth I thought were trapped
are the ones who've proudly stamped it.
I can't find her anywhere.
Then her silhouette once fair
was riddled with sores once bare.
Leaking from them are her cares.
I observed her on her knees.
Fists full of her hair he squeezed.
He oscillates his head in splendor.
she assumes her role as lender.
Splinters stab her from the skies.
Rinsed his remnants from her eyes.
Couldn't even start to cry.
Wiped her chin then we locked eyes.
No remorse as recompense.
None of it made any sense.
They walked away; leaving me tense.
I haven't heard from her since.
The autopsy made it plain:
yet another addict slain.
Said she never felt the pain.
Scraped her off the fence again.
She met her killers in distress.
She gave them her home address.
Told them when I would return;
so as far as I'm concerned,
I'll make good her claim tonight
on this street of broken lights
and if any should take their chance,
look for them where they once danced.
Written By: Devin Joseph Metz
Sunday, August 18, 2013
Thursday, August 15, 2013
I am Not my Hair
I am Not My Hair is a beautiful song by India Arie where she sings about how no matter how you wear your hair , it does not say who you are and who you are going to become. I love this song so much that when I have doubts about how I am wearing my hair whether it is relaxed or natural, I put it on blast! There are two versions of the song: one with the singer Pink and the other with Akon.
I AM NOT MY HAIR BY INDIA ARIE AND PINK:
I AM NOT MY HAIR BY INDIA ARIE AND AKON:
I have often said that my hair would never be natural. I will continue to relax or texturize my hair for convenience but there are some things that bother me. Often many times in the past, no one knew how I was going to have my hair, whether if it would be in twists , gelled back, whether I was going to wear an Afro wig or wear a wig that is straight and looks like relax hair. I had this experience a while back. I was attending the University of Louisiana at Monroe, taking graduate-level courses in Marriage and Family therapy. I remember it clearly. It was on a Monday.
I wore my hair in twists the previous week and I didn't really get a reaction; but that Monday I decided to wear the wig that looks a lot like relaxed hair and then someone in my class said that they liked my hair. They liked it better than the twists and they liked how I straightened it instead of wearing it in that terrible Afro style or when I had it in twists on the previous Monday. They said that I looked so much prettier. This person happened to be a white girl. I was really plagued about her comments but I didn't have time to bring it up to her because my 5 o clock was starting. I felt offended because I wondered,if she would ever
speak
The more I thought about it, the more I didn't understand and the more I was shocked and appalled . I had not thought back on than event for some time until when I cut my hair and relaxed it again. A comment about why I am even relaxing was made to me; that I should be natural and proud of it and not fill my pores and my body with chemicals. This time around, my classmate was a black person. I just don't understand people's (both black and white) obsession with straight hair and I don't seriously get those natural hair nazis either.
You know, if I could better take care of
Anyways, I have problem with any one telling me how to wear my hair unless they are telling me for my own good. I digress, but let me get back on topic. I said I was offended by that girl in that class, somehow my professor
My hair has always been difficult to maintain and I have always relaxed my hair so that I can manage; but I was really offended when the white girl said that my hair in its kind, natural state was not pretty; but what did I expect from a typical blonde hair, blue eyed white girl? From a typical brown skinned or dark skinned girl, I expected better. This goes to show that even though white people may have created the social construct of the hair problem, we as black people continue to embrace it whether we agree with the concept of long straight hair or whether we like our natural hair. It does not matter if one wants to wear their long and straight or have their hair nappy and natural. We need to stop this division among ourselves and deconstruct this social nonsense of what Black hair should be and love each other no matter how we wear our hair.
I wore my hair in twists the previous week and I didn't really get a reaction; but that Monday I decided to wear the wig that looks a lot like relaxed hair and then someone in my class said that they liked my hair. They liked it better than the twists and they liked how I straightened it instead of wearing it in that terrible Afro style or when I had it in twists on the previous Monday. They said that I looked so much prettier. This person happened to be a white girl. I was really plagued about her comments but I didn't have time to bring it up to her because my 5 o clock was starting. I felt offended because I wondered if she would ever speak
The more I thought about it, the more I didn't understand and the more I was shocked and appalled . I had not thought back on than event for some time until when I cut my hair and relaxed it again. A comment about why I am even relaxing was made to me; that I should be natural and proud of it and not fill my pores and my body with chemicals. This time around, my classmate was a black person. I just don't understand people's (both black and white) obsession with straight hair and I don't seriously get those natural hair nazis either.
You know, if I could better take care of
My hair has always been difficult to maintain and I have always relaxed my hair so that I can manage; but I was really offended when the white girl said that my hair in its kind, natural state was not pretty; but what did I expect from a typical blonde hair, blue eyed white girl? From a typical brown skinned or dark skinned girl, I expected better. This goes to show that even though white people may have created the social construct of the hair problem, we as black people continue to embrace it whether we agree with the concept of long straight hair or whether we like our natural hair. It does not matter if one wants to wear their long and straight or have their hair nappy and natural. We need to stop this division among ourselves and deconstruct this social nonsense of what Black hair should be and love each other no matter how we wear our hair.
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